I'm afraid I don't know the magic answer, our lb has had a 'special blanket' since birth, he takes it to sleep whether he's at home/ nursery. He has a set bedtime every night, routine includes milk drink, then up to bed, we try to keep everything calm, I tell my eldest not to play with him too much before bed, I get him changed in the room, he has a sensory fish light which he turns on, we then turn the main light off. He is still bf so he has bit of boob, I then cuddle him in the dark lying on the bed, I then tell him it's bed time give him another cuddle, check he has his blanket then we wave each other goodbye. He actually settles quicker when I leave him in the room by himself. He just lies down with his blanket.
I feed mine to sleep most of the time, or technically rock her in the car/pram/carrier. I think as they get older they will just start to transition to not need it as much! Maybe that’s wishful thinking, but you don’t see many teenagers getting rocked to sleep 😅 You could try habit stacking and see if that helps. So as well as rocking start to introduce patting or shushing and then slowly try and stop the rocking whilst still doing one of the others. I think some babies/toddlers are good at putting themselves to sleep and some aren’t unfortunately x
Following as same, only way to get him to sleep is to hold him (and he is 15kg!) so not great for my back but no idea how to help him fall asleep in bed either as he screams and grabs me when I put him down