AITA??

Context - I have an 11 week old baby, who seems to be suffering with recurring cold symptoms. Baby has a congenital heart condition, so is immunocompromised. AITA for taking my baby home from my in-laws house because MIL has a nasty cold? I arrived to the house with baby (as we were due to stay over and spend the following day together) to discover that MIL was hacking up and extremely chesty. I took my partner to one side and said, ‘I think I’m going to head home with baby, because no one told me that your mum was sick’ and partner seemed to understand. I decided to let FIL finish his cuddle/interaction with baby, as I didn’t want to stroll in, remove baby and be rude. I did not plan on confronting anyone about the lack of communication but MIL kept pushing, asking me what’s wrong and poking at the fact I didn’t look happy so I kinda snapped. I told MIL I felt totally disrespected because I am trying to safeguard baby from unnecessary germs, and had witnessed her cough violently over the top of baby’s chair without covering her mouth. She threw a tantrum saying that she got sick from the baby (who has suffered from the sniffles for weeks, not just lately - and had just recovered from her latest ‘cold’) so she didn’t feel like it mattered that she was sick. MIL then said, ‘oh I’m going to go upstairs’ so I said, ‘it’s fine, baby and I are going home soon’ and she got shitty saying there’s no need and she will be out of the way, so I told her that there was a need because instead of spreading her germs everywhere downstairs, she’ll just spread them upstairs too, where baby will be sleeping. It’s already bad enough that she had loaded the baby’s sleeping cot with outside coats because ‘baby wasn’t here so it didn’t matter.’ Apparently I made her cry 🤷‍♀️ so I left 30 minutes after I arrived, and took baby with me. My partner stayed and is still there now… AITA for telling the in-laws that they are out of order for not at least letting me know she was sick?

Show your support

Sometimes protecting your kids makes you look rude, but you’re doing the right thing. I wouldn’t even question it.

I’d be the same xx

I think your MIL is the ass for not telling you not to come as she's sick. My son's 1 and my family/partner's family wouldn't come to us or expect us to go to them if they're sick. Especially when he was a baby, he didn't have any conditions but he was 8 weeks premature so still at risk. Never feel bad for putting your baby above people's feelings, you did the right thing

I voted wrong. You are not!

@Gallila B Her wellbeing will always be my top priority xx

@Shore 🫶🏼

Well done for protecting your baby. My daughter has a parent foramen ovale and I refused to let anyone visit us if they were unwell. Your MIL is ridiculous and her behaviour is unacceptable whether a baby is immunocompromised or not. What’s with putting outside clothes in the cot? It’s not a storage unit! Her feelings aren’t important here, baby’s safety and health are.

You’re not an asshole at all for leaving and protecting your baby but instead of saying nothings wrong nothings wrong and then spazzing out on your MIL you could have just answered the first time and said you have a cold so I’m gonna bring baby home. He’s always sick and I just wanna prevent it from going any further if possible. It didn’t have to be a big finger pointing fight. So youre totally in the right for leaving but a total asshole for making your MIL cry over a cold. Especially if she caught it from your baby last week lol but even if she didn’t. Communication on both of your parts would have saved the situation here, not just hers.

@Cassie I’m not entirely sure why she was crying though, as I simply said I felt disrespected by the fact she was coughing all over my baby’s chair and didn’t tell me she was sick. There was no shouting from me, so maybe ‘snapping’ wasn’t quite the right word. I wasn’t planning on confronting anyone because she will never admit that she is in the wrong, and I don’t want an uproar in front of my baby. I’ve communicated with her regarding germs in general from the start of my pregnancy because she knows I’m petrified of anything happening to the baby. I guess I just didn’t feel comfortable opening a can of worms when she’s sensitive and I was trying to protect her feelings to begin with🤷‍♀️

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌