Hi awhile back I posted about the useless baby daddy.

It will get better in time. You probably shouldn’t go back. It sounds like trauma bonding

What is trauma bonding?

You made the right decision mama. Your child will thank you♡

@Heather what is trauma bonding?

@seo it doesn’t feel like i made the right decision. Even though I broke up with him I feel like my heart shattered into a million pieces.

If you google trauma bonding @Felicity you’ll see some helpful articles. It is essentially a deep attachment to someone who causes us harm. Pulling away from them feels physically painful as you are experiencing but it’s important to use the rational part of the brain, your critical thinking, to remind yourself why you made that decision. The emotional side of your brain will just want the pain to stop and will draw you back to a harmful situation. Keep reminding yourself of the reasons you knew it was important to end the relationship. As the saying goes, when somebody shows you who they are, believe them.

I'm going through this very same situation except the relationship with my ex was also very toxic and abusive 😪 ive only been alone for a month now and it honestly still hurts. I see him everyday so he can see the kids etc and it makes it that much harder. But it does get better. Im having more good days/times than bad now, therapy is helping me a lot too. So is sleep meditation and walking morning/evening. Its hard being alone but its a lot easier at the same time. Feel free to message me if you want to x

Trauma bond? Useless, right? Try not to feel bad

@Felicity I actually broke up with mines too! It does hurt but after I left him I did feel like I made a mistake only cause I was back being single mom to 4 kids and feeling tired ASF with no help. But in the end I learned It was the best thing I ever done. I had nobody giving me headache or waking up to negative energy I feel great he is gone! And don't miss him. It goes away. He still takes care of his kid just don't come in my house or near me. We had a 2 yr relationship. I had let him go cause he had anger issues kept tryna put his hands on me.

I also didn't want to be trauma bonding either

YAYYY YOU DID IT !!!🙌🏽 Step one done , now time to cry it all out and then heal! ❤️‍🩹 I almost just messaged mine but had to remind myself of that lil circle he plays to get me emotionally dependent again ! YOU ARE STRONG , this is hard but you can do hard things 💪🏽

@Nuri I am proud of you too girl ! 🫶🏽 that really hurts to be left alone when it’s supposed to be a tag team ! That resentment is the reason I kept going back. Glad we’re done ! 🤗

@Rachel I’m proud of you ! let it hurt while you build up your boundaries because that much contact is very daring! I would need a third party, you’re brave! Stay strong mama! 💪🏽🥹❤️‍🔥

@Rachel thank you. I’m sorry you had to go through it too. I’m glad you’re doing a lot better than what you were. I’m also glad you’re doing a got away from that abusive relationship.

@Nuri I’m very glad you got away from that relationship and thank you for your kind words. Oh btw if you didn’t know you’re a great mom and you are doing amazing!

@Jes thank you very much. You’re very strong and you can do very strong things too!!♥️

@Felicity when they fuck with you and love bomb you meaning love u then screw you over over and over again to the point it creates this toxic bond that u feel like you need them to survive but it’s all bs mind games and controlling behavior

@Claire amen 100%

@Heather that part

@Heather oh so do I not really love him…and he in reality doesn’t love me….

@Felicity I think u might and he might but it’s mostly a game he’s playing a control tactic, and trauma bonding is wen u get emotionally attached to your abuser, like wut did they used to call it back In the day? Yes it reminds me of remember, Stockholm syndrome? Isnt narsasistic personality like 1-2% to possibly 15% and 75% of those narsasists are men! Where’s my underline? lol