Only child

I have a cousin who is an only child, and no day goes by that he doesn't literally "cry" about it been very hard. His both parents are still alive, but there's just too many things he's carrying alone and even though I am not in his shoes, I feel the frustration to my bones. I won't start going into details because there's just too many and I can't even choose one over another. But then there are good sides to it, like enjoying full parent attention (some of us wish) and stuff like that 😁 Funny enough, I am like the only cousin he actually bonded with (even though it was the fact that we met at the same university that we both knew we existed 😂) There are both good and bad to it, same with if you have more than 1 child. But honestly, if you see it will be too hard to bring an extra person, I will say to hold on with that plan. There are alternatives you can look into later in the future. For now, just see if you can get your boy to bond well with cousins and other relatives. They still come in handy. 🤗

@Rosy thank you. That’s really useful! He has cousins he loves playing with but they live far away and are older. However he is due to have a baby cousin nearby soon so hopefully they will be close ☺️. I find it so hard to let go of the idea of 2 even though I know the reality is so hard.

We're in a similar situation, still haven't made up our minds yet but at the moment our priority is that child has parents with better mental health to be able to raise and support him than have a sibling because we struggled so much in the beginning (I had ppd). I have friends and family who are only children and they've never wished for different. They are confident and have friends as close as siblings, and loved being able to come home from school and not have to fight for attention from parents or their own space (can you tell I've grilled them about this trying to decide what we want to do 😂). And actually, I have a sibling but one of my friends is the closest person to me as a sister that she's the person I'd go to over the sibling, so having another is no guarantee of support. Whatever you choose to do will be the right decision for your family and both options will have rewards and sacrifices 😘.

Yes @Jenna FRIENDSSSSSS. Like, there are just some friends who have turned family more than actual family themselves. 😁 Truly, having one child both parents can raise lovingly is really a better option than having more and struggle with everything 🤗 OP, have the discussion extensively with your partner. You both should weigh the pros and cons well and see what you want. But don't pressure yourself into doing what you don't want. I got a 2nd because I was also thinking about not letting only one be lonely, and now I want to stop. But everyone is saying, there should be a 3rd one "who can always break the fight when there are just 2" 😂 but I will be ignoring that advice because with these 2, I'm almost losing my mind daily 😂 Do what's best for you both. 😁

@Jenna thank you. Having kids is so hard! It’s just hard to make a decision based on logic over the heart, I think because me and my husband aren’t massively sociable people and both close to our siblings it’s hard to remember our boy may be different. My dad didn’t get on with his brother and got no support when their parents were ill.

@Rosy thank you. The cons out way pros as I knew they would but it’s hard to go with logic over emotion. My partner and I keep discussing it and feel exactly the same so no result. Think he’ll just wait for me to make a final decision and go with what I want.

I was an only child for 10 years. I don’t have any contact with my brother now but I enjoyed being an only child. Wish it stayed that way for me personally

I’m an only child :) however I was raised by a single mum so I don’t know if that changes things. I loved it to be honest! Me and my mum have always been best friends, my house was calm and I spent tons and tons of times with other kids and I have a huge friend group. I think as my parents age I might long for a sibling, however there’s no guarantee your sibling would be helpful with things like parents aging.

I’m an only child and I don’t know my real dad, I have a step dad since 12. To be honest I’ve always thought it would have been nice to have a sibling but equally I have a really strong relationship with my mom. However I really want another as I can’t bear the thought of my boy being alone. He has two older half brothers but with a min age gap of 12 years plus so I do worry he will have no one besides the family he creates (if at all). You have to do what feels right for both of you, there will always be pros and cons to it all, and don’t feel pressured by family members or friends.

Only child here! I had a big friend group as a small child and that was fine, I don't remember wanting a sibling at all! However the only time I did wish someone else very close to me was around was when I lost my dad... his family were great but I couldn't share my experience of losing a parent with anyone. However, that's definitely not a reason to have another child!! I'm in a similar mindset, I'm not sure I want a second yet... but if i feel I would regret it in years to come I might just do it with a bigger age gap. Definitely not ready yet!!

A reminder that your 2nd baby could be twins 😀. So if finances are tight, mental health is a concern and support network is limited it's important to factor that in too. Sounds like you're giving it a good amount of thought.

@Hannah exactly one of my concerns!

Im an only child and I was alright because I had friends in the neighbourhood, school mates and cousins to play with. If you do have another baby it wont be another 9 months before they are born and probably another 6 months before that can really play together. Nowadays there are plenty of activities and groups where your boy can socialise and play. I hope this helps. x