Escaping narcissist
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If you have any family or friends, you can have them stand by as you tell him he is no longer welcome there. Be as calm as you can and non reactive, as narcissists feed off your reactions
I agree with @Leticia to make living with you unbearable and be nonchalant and dismissive. I know it hard. I'm praying for you. As a fellow 24 yr old that's been in your position, you got this. The good thing about hitting rock bottom is that there's nowhere to go, but up
My mums in this exact position and over the past 2 years it went from 0-100 super quick. Every time she felt bad she’d send him money to help him get back on his feet because ‘he couldn’t afford to move out’, or he was too sick so she’d let him stay one night that would turn into 3 months always. The only way she successfully managed to get rid of him was to have him removed from the police and to only allow contact via email as he would harass her via messages. CPS have been involved regarding him but they were happy as long as he wasn’t around us or my mum. Get cameras, tell him he is not to come to the house. Any of his stuff pack up and give him a deadline of when it needs to be out by written clearly on email so he can’t claim you damaged his property. The deadline of course needs to be reasonable so if it does go to court you don’t look bad because men like him will try and manipulate anything and everything.
If he wants access to the child make sure it’s on your terms. Most of the time it is a case of if you say they can see them, they’ll say a hundred reasons why they suddenly ‘can’t’ or how you’re making it difficult etc. and it’s not fair. Don’t buy the BS, if you’re okay with him seeing the child that’s your decision but don’t let him guilt you or pressure you. The minute you start feeling guilty take that as a sign that you’re doing the right thing
You have to realize there's no way to get rid of him without bad terms. He's a narc so there will be bad terms. He will be so upset and try anything not to go. If it works he'll do it. He has already proven that. They will guilt trip, confuse, manipulate, lie, ignore, abuse and intimidate, the list goes on. And sometimes even do it all in such a way that you think you willfully made the choice.. in such a way that you may make excuses for their behavior or think you're at fault when your not, or think it's just better not to cause a war here I will deal w it. A toxic partner is a toxic parent. He will, if not now then eventually, demonstrate that behavior in front of your child at the very least or end up manipulative to the child ect ect I mean don't put anything past them. The baby is only a baby as of now and you can only hope it will be better for them and they won't get too affected. What will happen most likely is you will find a way out of the relationship and then the baby will become...
.. unfortunately a way for him to get back at you.even in subtle ways. He will try. It will be his only way to you because you will have to communicate when it comes to the child and that will be forever. Nothing will be smooth. Every parenting choice you make will be a fight or a way for him to bug you. Among many other ways he can get to you this way. I know all of this sounds horrible but if he's a true narcissist, even on a smaller scale, this is what you're looking at. The secret is just to accept it. You have to except that you're gonna be in for a shit show dealing with him in regards to the baby. The next step after you get him gone is you have to be cold. Even if you say oh I just want to be nice and why can't we get along and co parent. It doesn't seem right. That wil make you weak again for him to manipulate is some way form or fashion again. You have to play the game better than him. Go cold go distance. Only speak about the child and even then don't unless absolutely necessary.
As far as getting him to leave. If he's ignoring you you may have no choice but to involve cops or leave yourself. Another idea is to get him out of the home for some reason and set his stuff outside. Call someone over to help you change the locks while he's gone, maybe a trusted family member and keep them there for support while he freaks out in the yard and eventually he will leave. You can text him hey I tried to tell you and you kept ignoring me I had no choice. But also I mean... would he be crazy enough to break in? Be careful Honestly tho him even knowing where you are is scary if he's gotten physical before. If I were you I'd leave and not tell him where but that's just me
Where do you live? If you have proof of physical or verbal abuse or recording, don’t say anything, don’t mention the police, come up with a plan to get you and your child out of that situation. Get family involved, take it upon yourself to leave with your child to a safe location to report that he’s not on the lease and that he won’t leave and you show that abuse evidence to proper authorities OR call National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233. Don’t fall victim to someone else’s lack of self control… and doing “actions” to annoy him will only make things worse or make you the next person on the news.