Plans

Even if you give birth on time that's a lot to deal with with a month old baby, cluster feeding and no sleep. Also that's assuming you have a straight forward birth!

I wouldn't risk it. Your baby won't have had their immunisations yet and going to a big event a month post partum is a lot

Personally I wouldn't risk it you don't know how the birth is going to go 1 month after birth is a lot to cope especially as u will still be discovering what your baby needs and when and ur baby won't be immunised yet so if it was me I wouldn't be going and wouldn't be pressured into going either by no one

You are absolutely right not to go. Even if you give birth on time or earlier you will still not be feeling ok to go to a wedding, plus I wouldn't take a newborn around that many people.

I wouldn't risk going People are right. Baby will a month old and you might not have a routine or feeling ok, hope the birth is straight forward for you and goes to plan if you have one xx

You are not wrong for not wanting to go. I’m 6 weeks out from birth (baby came a week late) and I wouldn’t be able to do an all day/night thing. At 4 weeks I barely stopped bleeding. And the only reason why I got some kind of sleep is because baby is exclusively formula fed so my husband can take over night feedings and I can sleep. Don’t go to the wedding.

Your baby won’t have any vaccinations yet likely and being around that many people isn’t a great idea. Plus you’re likely be exhausted, still trying to learn your baby and what they need and like and feeding etc.

You might consider letting your husband go solo. You can arrange for extra support at home if you need it. Especially if he doesn't see his extended family a lot, it might be the only chance he realistically has to see some of his relatives.

There’s no way they need their numbers now. Most vendors need them a month to 2 weeks in advance. I personally don’t think I’d go being just a month or less postpartum. We had my son’s baptism when he was a month and it was hard on me. Chirstmas was just over one month pp with my daughter and I felt ok, but all we did was stay home and family came here. We kept it small to minimize germs. Both were c-sections Your husband could go alone if he wanted. Maybe only stay part of the time.

I'm sort of on the other fence. 100% you dont know recovery My first was not a rough recovery my 2nd I was out shopping day 2. There are a lot more dynamics to consider then you lists. 1. Are you comfortable taking baby to something like that? (I would be not everyone is) 2. How close is the event? How close are you/your husband to the family/cousin? 3. How much judgement or flack are you going to get if you don't show up under various circumstances? 4. Do you actually want to be there? Some compromises you can consider is attend the wedding not the reception. (Your head count can matter less) Husband goes without you for all or part of it Or if it will be well recieved say yes but be very clear and on the same page with husband what your needs will be (ex. Access to privacy, he's attentiveness, and early night and possibly a hotel room even if it's not far allowing you to rest and return) 5. You can say yes and change your mind later. Lots of people say yes then miss weddings for one reason or another

I’m going to a wedding in August with a 6 week old and a 2 year old 🫣 Luckily it’s at a hotel so we have a room and actually booked an extra nights stay. That way we can disappear to our own space throughout the day and evening. Not sure if that’s an option for you! Also, I’m sure they’ll understand if you’d rather be at home.

You are not wrong, and if it’s more than just a quick to and fro, don’t hesitate being like, “I’m sorry guys. Pregnancy isn’t something you can really plan out, before or after baby comes. Feel free to include me in the numbers for incase I can come. But I can’t promise to be in a state that allows me to come, and I apologize for that. Please feel free to send me a video! I’d live to see you guys be wed.” 💗 Keep it polite but simple. You know?

Thank you all so much for your responses! Really helpful :) I have a 2 year old also, so I have suggested for him to go & I can pick the 2 year old up - show my face for an hour then leave. I’m not sure if I will take my baby yet there is an option of leaving him with my mum while I do the trip. Xxx

You could say yes and just let them know you might have to cancel depending on how things go, or say no but tell them you’ll try to come for the ceremony if you can but not the dinner or dancing etc

I went to a wedding when baby was six weeks old. Although it was nice to be welcomed and included, essentially I found the experience very lonely and I spent most of the day and night in the hotel room cluster feeding on my own, listening to the party downstairs. It was a long way to travel for that!