Advice!

Be prepared for chaos and to feel completely overwhelmed at times. There will be tough phases made harder by a second child but they are only phases. Find the joy in small moments with each child. Focus on spending time with each one together and separately! Enjoy it-it goes fast!

Take the help when it’s offered to you even if you’ve got things covered just take the help and go rest. It will be hard for the first couple of months but you’ll find your rhythm with two kids. If both kids and having a meltdown, pay attention to the eldest, your newborn won’t know they cried but your eldest will understand you chose baby over them. Always include eldest in what you’re doing with baby as much as possible - I ask my eldest to bring me baby’s nappy, cream and wipes. He then also puts the used nappy in a basket I assigned for things like these to go into. He gets so happy that he is able to help.

Try and make time for your first - even if it’s only 10 minutes a day. Bed time is a great time for it to be just you and your first, if you can leave the second with daddy. Praise your first for being kind, gentle etc when playing with second. Try not to reprimand when they are too rough. They just want to be involved and they can feel pushed out, especially if anytime they go near baby you’re telling them off (which you do need to watch them like a hawk as they can be really impulsive!) Depending on the age of the first - one practical thing I found really useful when getting them both in/out the car was to ask my toddler to hold my leg when sorting baby. That way I could feel him there and would know if he let go. He was 2.5 when she arrived so too young to trust not to run off!