Guilty..about self care

I need someone to talk to, as I feel guilty now, but this morning I was feeling really self neglected, I have been trying to do things which can help me get a bit better and be more focused on myself too get better, I have been fighting postpartum depression and anxiety for some time now, I know 4 month isn’t that long for some, but imagine I thought my baby and my husband would be better off without me, and I should just end it all, but then after feeling shit for a while I thought fuck! no one else can care about him like i do, and no one will love my little boy like i do, after talking to my husband, he didn’t understand at first so i started to slowly distance myself from him, and moved out to my parents house with my baby, and only existed as a shell, and had zero interest for anything at all, all this time my husband must have call me over a thousand times in 2-3 weeks, including everyone else as well and hardly talked to my baby in that time too, once I moved back home with my husband as my parents left to go on a vacation for 3 weeks, and when we got back my husband sat me down and spoken to me, and asked me what I wanted or how he can help me, and begged me to fight for our son, and he said for him I was his top priority, and even before the baby, and he just wants me back, I cried a lot and slowly tried to talk to him, I use to avoid it and go to sleep, so slowly made effort to wait, and just waited to eat with him, fast forward to now, I have just gave myself a little self care time while I had the baby to feel a lot like myself again, and now I feel really guilty for doing so, and needed some advice, how do you guys coping and managing to look after yourself and not feel guilty