Mini Vent Since Feeling Like A Failure 😣

So my daughter is 29 months (2 years old 5 months) She just started walking in Jan 2025 but she’s still not talking or potty trained. She gorges in food && only seems to focus on something for .05 seconds. She doesn’t play with her interactive toys correctly instead she just throws her toys everywhere around my house. She wants to be around me && away at the same time (if you know what I mean). My daughter grasps things but not what she should (if you know what I mean). I had her checked out once before she turned 2 && the pediatrician tried to say my daughter has mental retardation smfh .My wife is constantly trying to “self diagnose” her with autism or mental illness because she’s trying to compare my daughter to the kids in her family (who ALL has OLDER siblings) Not realizing my daughter has an ATTITUDE && when she gets in her moods my daughter don’t wanna do NOTHING! My wife literally makes it like I’m not supposed to do NOTHING, NO hugs, NO cuddling, NO TV, NO “gentle parenting”, NO Yelling…just NOTHING because she thinks my daughter has Separation Anxiety && “Can’t do NOTHING when I’m around” it’s sooo mfn frustrating. I started out as a single parent prior to meeting my wife. I didn’t have ANY support so I did what I COULD to keep my sanity. It’s been a ROCKY journey with raising my daughter and Postpartum Depression really comes && goes with me. I be trying my best to INTERACT with my daughter, get her to LEARN and PLAY like a 2 year old but everyone’s judgement is making me feel like I’m a failure smh because my daughter is not a “regular 2 year old” or not hitting the “2 year old milestones” but like wtf is that, every child develops differently smh. Idk what to do I’m just over this whole situation. I didn’t have my daughter until 41 weeks 1 day so she CLEARLY had time to BAKE and develop anatomically. I just don’t know what else to do.

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You have done nothing wrong, yes every child develops differently but she is also only two. I struggled so bad with my children when they were that age. My now five year old started to have issues when he was two years old, started with focusing issues then it turned into behavior issues. Eight months ago my son was diagnosed with autism level 2 and adhd hyperactivity I had a hard time accepting it. I tried all those things your wife is telling you not to do but it didn’t help if anything it made things worse. Gentle parenting does not work for some kids and some times they don’t wanna be touch and left alone when they’re in that state but at the same time some wanna be held and loved on because you are their safe space when things get tough for them. I was a single mom of two for an awhile and I know the struggle of trying to live with depression. You’re not a failure in any way, you’re a mom doing her best. You can’t self diagnose autism your child has to go through testing

You are absolutely not a failure. Every child is different and mom Guilt it so real. But I 1000000% highly suggest requesting a specialist and getting your daughter checked for autism or even like if she can get a speech therapist. That way your wife and you have peace of mind. And a little specialist boost goes a LONG way! My brother is autistic. He was diagnosed at 3. And he had early intervention therapy it reallly help the whole family like understand how his mind works. And just made a foundation for us on how to approach certain things with him. It made life so much easier and also he’s 18 now, just got accepted to freakin Ivy League college and living his best little life. Autism and spectrum anything isn’t bad and it’s really so helpful to be aware. 💗💗💗 Also speech therapy is the bomb too! I would love my daughter to be in speech therapy, it’s so helpful for everyone. I think taking out the shame or putting blame is VERY important!

My son is 29months he just started saying few words now every child is different sending you hugs 🫂

The doctor might be just trying to inform you so you can get your child into programs to help them sooner 🤷🏽‍♀️ my son still doesn’t talk so I put him into speech therapy. Sometimes the best way to help our kids is to let others help us w them

@Andrea exactly

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