Should I crash out?
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What In the world smh just let him go not even worth it sounds like a fboy
@Mariah I’m on my period and I’m really trying not to overreact. Idk if they’re contacts he just never deleted or they’re new and I’m really trying to give the benefit of the doubt. But considering we’ve been together for three years the doubt is fleeting.
I mean is this possible these are old contact names
@Gabrielle that’s why I haven’t lost it yet because I really don’t know. We’ve been together three years. I know regardless that’s going to be his excuse but I’m not sure if it’s true.
The names are wild like wtf😭 But on a serious note, no don’t crash out as it’s never worth it. Just let him go or let it go
Look , I am a recovered crash out so excuse my initial response lol. Are there any current messages from those contacts because honestly him just having them saved isn’t crash out worthy. Most men are dogs at heart ( reason for the contact names ) if it is anything to worry about I now as a recovered crash out say “ what happens in the dark will come to light “ and pray on it .
Yeah these could be old. F boy in his past though 😂 hopefully not present.
What on earth are them names… But side note don’t crash out just let him go honestly the trash will take its self out x Hope your okay
@Mariah I really don’t know if there are messages I simply saw the names through CarPlay in his vehicle.
Aww man . Ima pray for you because I know the anxious feeling of not knowing . Then also not wanting to accuse so is there really even a reason to confront him or crash out. That’s a tough situation.
I would see if you can peep his messages, cause I’d have to know personally!
Not “thic Puerto Rican” lmaooo I’ll be livid if I seen that! And I’m a recovered crash outs too , I used to break phones when I used to see stuff like that. But it can maybe be old contacts you’ll have to confront him and if it’s not leave his ass cause how tf he’ll feel if you had “BBC Michael” on your phone tf
@Cecilia I’m appalled I’m literally so thick myself so I’m confused😭😭. I needed a good laugh and “BBC Micheal” was hilarious thank you.
@Cecilia Not BBC Michael 🤣🤣🤣 fr though .
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Phone would be smashed
He will say they are old numbers 🙄
Check his phone
@Aaammgg♥️♥️♥️ I don’t have access to it.
@Aaammgg♥️♥️♥️ okay update: I did look briefly before he locked it and there was a message between him and some girl on snap where he was complimenting her and she was thanking him but that’s as far as I got.
Aw man , gotta peep out the password & wait until he’s in a deep sleep 😅. Fair warning , don’t go looking if you really don’t want to find anything. You will never look at him or yourself the same
@Mariah I haven’t checked his phone in about six months. I want to know because we have a child together and we’re about to buy a house I want to know because I will leave. I do look when I get the password but it’s always some complicated phrase
Did you find anything 6 months ago ? Does your gut tell you something is going on ?
They're probably just old saved contacts, how often do you go through and cull contacts? I think I did that once in my life?
@Ella every three months I go through and clear contacts I don’t like clutter.
@Mariah I do have a weird feeling, 6 months ago I found messages but nothing that instituted he was cheating just a swipe up on a post or two inquiring about an outfit which he really like and wanted a link for and ended up purchasing for me
Could it be pulling it from old old contacts? My phone still has saved contacts from over a decade ago because it's saved in my Gmail that syncs.
@Mariah he went to the bathroom after I found that particular message and deleted it and god knows what else so I guess that’s my answer
Trust your gut ! Is this a relationship you want to work or are you sold on leaving if something is off ? Definitely things to consider with a child and purchasing a house. I can’t stand a sketchy acting man
After your comments about what you’ve previously found, it seems like it could be a slight pattern. Regardless of if they’re old contacts or not, the complimenting other girls etc would send me. I personally think it’s micro cheating and if he is doing it now when you’re planning on buying a house and have a baby, who’s to say he won’t do it later in life. I’m not sure if it’s something you’re okay with but I wouldn’t be and would rather know now than after you buy a house and have more commitments together. Coparenting is easy, getting out of financial agreements, that’s harder.
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Okay, after reading all the comments, I think you're absolutely right; you've already got your answer. You caught him deleting messages between him and a girl? He's cheating. If it were innocent there'd be no reason for him to sneak and delete things. I'm so sorry. I wish you the best of luck girl, may you find your peace </3
Yeah probably old- but definitely needs to be discussed. But know thyself. If you can’t stay calm and have a reasonable convo while you’re on your period, save it. You have to be in the right mind for when he flips things.
For everyone saying the contacts could be old- still, how is that okay??! Why would you have females numbers saved inappropriately like this when you’re in a relationship? It shouldn’t be in his phone at all. Old or not
@Ragine I suppose the point is, if you didn't even realise they were there, you should at least get an opportunity to delete them. I don't even scroll my contacts, I just search the name I want in the search bar. Of all the relentless consuming physical and mental load of motherhood, clearing out old contacts is most definitely not even on my to do list. It just doesn't even matter.
@Ragine like the starting point is having a conversation about how she noticed these contacts and she would feel more comfortable if he deleted them. Doesn't sound like she's done that yet.
@Ella I most certainly did
What did he say?
Life’s too short for this type of bullshit. If there’s no trust, there’s no relationship.
@Ella maybe it's just me, but when I started dating my husband, I deleted/blocked any old contacts that belonged to exes or people I was ever even in a talking stage with. Because that's respectful. Because I took our relationship seriously, and care about him deeply. I would be hurt at the very least if he hadn't extended the same courtesy and thought for me. I also didn't have kids before my husband, so idk, maybe it's different, but I feel like it still applies.
Wait so you sleep with this man and don’t have access to his phone?
So did you crash out? I need an update.
@Jess I did not crash out I had a very calm and rational conversation. I did look through his phone and I even went as far as to call a few of the numbers for clarification.😂 he is not cheating but was very close to being single.
Amazing. I’m proud of you for staying calm and doing what needed to be done. You should be proud, too. So glad you’re both doing good!❤️
What was his response?
@Jess thank you ❤️
Yea , not gonna lie I’d been crashed out. No questions asked