Need advice

I’m not sure this counts as you cutting ties if he blocked you and never asked about his son for 2 years. He’s a stranger to your son is he demanding to see him for what a few minutes or hours to ghost again or is he demanding to be in his life? Because those are 2 very different things.

@Nikki hey by the message he wrote to me it sounded more like I’m making him look bad to his family that he’s not being a father . So it’s not even genuine relationship he wants from his son more of proving a point to his family he’s not a deadbeat . And even if he was sincere he wants a relationship with him now I can’t tolerate the whole disrespecting when I’m already doing everything on my own and inconsistency is going to effect my child too.

So he’s doing it just for show instead of genuinely wanting to be in his son’s life. I would try and figure out how to keep him out at this point if he can’t grow up and be a father to your son because he wants to be in his son’s life and be consistent, but now only wants to be around because he looks bad to his family this I don’t see being in your son’s interest. I’m not an expert on this though so I don’t really have advice but he sounds too immature to understand the impact he could have on your son if he’s not 100% dedicated to being a good father.

@Nikki you’re right he’s too immature and only doing it to prove a point he’s not a deadbeat . I’m just going to follow with my instincts and cut all the relationship between him and his son off . Because In the long run from a child prospective too if he sees his dad is being disrespectful to his mum when he comes and on top of that he’s inconsistent in his life that’s going to effect him too. What do you think ?

For sure this will have an impact on him in some way. Before you cut off contact though I’d make sure though he doesn’t try to make some sort of legal case against you. I don’t know him so I’m not sure how far he’d go to prove a point. I’m not sure how he could prove he’s serious about being there for his son. He’s asked to see his son but has he even suggested trying to work out a schedule? Something that would show he’s not just going to ghost again? Is he going to communicate in a civil way? Is he going to actually be there when your son needs him? I’m all for a father being in his child’s life but he’s going to have to show he’s serious about coparenting and being a real father not just the guy who pops by whenever he finds it’s convenient for him.

I’m in the same boat. I’ve cut contact

If I was in that position.. I made it two years without him I can keep doing it. He’s just gonna be added stress to you and the kid and that’s not fair for either of you. He doesn’t actually want to be a dad, I would just ghost him. I wouldn’t want the potential trauma for my child to deal with the inconsistency and feeling unloved.. obviously I don’t know the full story with you, but going off as the little details I have, that’s what I would do.

He abandoned you guys. Straight up. He has no rights. None.

@Nikki even if he does take legal action against me he has criminal record and recently came out of jail too . So I will file for full custody if he does try it . I don’t know the law of by heart but I’m more of the stable parent with a safe environment for my child so they will defo give me full custody .

@Sarah how are you dealing with it ? Does his family give you a headache too

This is good just keep on doing what you’ve been doing then.