Having a second child

I’m having a lot of anxiety thinking about having a second child since my first is on the spectrum and I just had such a hard time seeing them struggle with milestones and especially with the lack of interest in me and being aware of regular things in general. I feel like no one talks about this but being a first time mom, you look forward to a lot of shared moments with your child and having that strong bond. Children on the spectrum tend to lack that connection and it’s really tough to experience as a parent. So now I’m scared to go through that again if I have another child on the spectrum. Does anyone else ever have this feeling?

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Hi you can message me if you want 💙

I’m feeling exactly this same way while considering the possibility of another! Your feelings are super valid

Your feelings are spot on..It’s very anxiety provoking.

I’m in exactly the same boat, your feelings are completely valid

SEEING NEVER HELD ANY EXPECTATIONS TO MOTHER HOOD SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT. CAUSE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF OR CHILD. NOW WATCHING MY SON STRUGGLE TO DO THINGS HE WANTED TO DO WAS PAINFUL AND HIS LACK OF INTEREST IN ALMOST EVERYTHING MY SON WAS OBSESSED WITH ME AS I WAS WITH HIM. PLEASE DON'T GENERALIZE KIDS ON THE SPECTRUM CAUSE NOT ALL OF THEM ARE DISCONNECTED OR DISTANT. SOME YOU HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO CONNECT WITH THEM. AS A PERSON ONE THE SPECTRUM WITH TWO KIDS ON THE SPECTRUM I'VE NEVER HAD AN ISSUE WITH CONNECTION. QUESTION ARE YOU IN ANY WAY NEURO SPICY??

Your feelings are valid. Although, I’m not a parent to one but I am an aunt to one. My oldest sister, her first born who is my oldest nephew. He’s on the spectrum - non verbal. It didn’t stopped my sister from trying for more. She now has 3 kids total. Oldest who is on the spectrum is gonna start high school (birthday was on Friday) this year. Youngest is 1 year old. Her second (middle) child was able to talk so for that, she wasn’t used to it for the longest . My sister was a single mother shortly after having her first born, unfortunately. But she had that bond and lots of shared moments together. She did everything with her first born, honestly.

I have these exact feelings :(

I was more clueless when I had my second child as I wanted so bad for my first Asd baby to have someone to play with and never feel as lonely as I felt as an only child. Second one was neurotypical which led to me wanting a 3rd child which is now under assessment for Asd too but now I know what it’s all about it and I am no longer scared.

Your feelings are valid. I didn’t know my older child has ASD until after my second child was born. I will tell you my second is more advanced with speech and more socially connected. My first is delayed so he’s still reaching the milestones just at a later time. A beautiful thing happened. When my youngest started hugging or kissing me as a baby in the shopping cart, my older son noticed and started doing the same thing. That has happened in so many areas now. They teach each other things and are best friends. Only you know what’s right for you and your child/family.

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