Hitting at nursery

Most days when I pick my girl up from nursery I’m told she has tried to hit someone or bite or push etc. When it happens, they explain to her it’s not okay and talk to her about it but it’s getting to a point where it’s now a daily occurrence. They’ve brought her into the office before after a bad bite and she just found it funny and exciting… At home I’ve bought various books about feelings, empathy, making friends, respect etc. to start conversations and she loves reading them with me and takes them all in and identifies when characters are sad, happy, angry and why. We also have a reward chart. She’s also great when I take her to a playground or soft play and will generally make a friend to play with and even share toys. I’m wondering why it’s just at nursery this happens and what more I can do to help this, has anyone else experienced this? It’s upsetting me as I just don’t know what more I can do. Also finding it hard to stay positive after pick up when I find out she’s been unkind to her peers once again…

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i’m a nursery worker. have they put a behaviour plan in place? it might be an idea to suggest one if they haven’t, so that they can monitor her and spot any potential triggers that are causing these outbursts of biting, there’s got to be a reason behind it surely. i’d expect they should have a behaviour plan in place because in nurseries we consider biting in 3+ year olds to not be developmental. 2 and under it is developmental behaviour, but becomes more serious when it is no longer developmental. does she have her speech? can she communicate effectively? if not, this could be a contribution. does someone at home play fight with her a lot? this could make her think she is hitting or pushing for fun, when really it isn’t fun but she wouldn’t be aware of that. i’m sorry i know it’s not nice, we all want our kids to behave the best, i always like to reassure parents who go through this that it is not your fault at all (a lot of parents blame themselves or wonder what they’re doing wrong

in their parenting, but 9/10 there’s nothing the parent is doing that’s causing it and the child is just acting out) i wish i could help more xxx

I think they’ve identified it’s 1) when she gets overwhelmed 2) during unstructured play i.e. boredom 3) when someone tries to take something she’s playing with or comes into her space when she’s busy doing her own thing… So yeah not for no reason and I would say 90% of the time they say it’s because of the toy taking/ space invading. But then other times they say it is just for no apparent reason which I find hard to believe?! Her speech is very good, even today for example she said to someone that she was feeling scared because there’s too many people around so they took her outside for a run around and she felt better afterwards. And nobody play fights with her either but yeah that’s a good point! To be honest it’s just usually me with her as dad leaves for work super early and comes home late. Also you’re spot on with the last bit, I do always think it must be my parenting and that they all probably think that too so that’s made me feel a bit better, thank you 😊

Have they noticed when she is doing it? E.g they have something she wants, they aren't listening etc. Is she getting frustrated and doesn't know how to deal with it, over stimulated? I would ask nursery for more info and if they can figure out what triggers it

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