advice

You are so kind to be some concerned for your SIL! What a wonderful thing, she is lucky to have you in her corner. I can give you some ideas, hopefully one or two will help. If she lives nearby I think the biggest thing you could to is help her out IRL. Like, make some freezer meals for her, watch her babe with yours so she can clean or take a shower that is longer than five minutes, lol. As her if she has any concrete needs and try to help lighten her load. If she lives too far for this to be practical, if your finances permit get her a house cleaner to help her catch up with chores or maybe a six month subscription for food deliveries. Listen to her talk about her feelings, fears, anxieties and sadness. It sounds like you are already doing this to some extent so that's great! I would just add make sure not to tell her cliché things like, "It will be okay" or "your baby/you are fine", etc... Give her space to vent because society really doesn't allow moms that opportunity without shame. (Continued...)

Sorry this turned out so long. These are the two big things that would have helped in my experience. My husband is wonderfully supportive but our "village" is nonexistent. My Dad is too old to feasibly help and my Mom can make things worse at times. Having anyone reach out to help me with the day to day things or just let me cry on her shoulder may not have "cured" my PPD/PPA/PP-OCD, but it would have helped soooooo much. I felt terribly alone and pathetic whoxh only compounded the problema. Again, this is just what would have really helped me. Oh! One more thing, share your own imperfections as a mom or any hard feelings you might have. It's hard to hate yourself as a mom and sometimes feel like you're the only one who has failures or yucky thoughts/feelings. I'm so glad she has you and feel free to message or respond with questions. Although, even browsing this group will give you some good ideas too!

You can offer to do laundry, hold the baby if she needs rest, spend time with her, do things to bring some normalcy back to your routines (go out for coffee, have a girls night)