Boundaries
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Thanks for taking the time to respond, Rasha. I realize the need to make boundaries, I just don't know how. Every time I do something for myself, something I need to do, it doesn't make me feel better, it makes me feel worse and I seem to spiral in the same direction no matter what I do.
Well then you have succeeded at the first step, recognizing there's a need. Now what boundaries and how, takes time and practice. I've used a book by Nedra Tawwab. Chances are, you could benefit from implementing boundaries in other areas of your life and your child is giving you a golden opportunity to do some self-growth. And you can do it. This is on another note but perhaps you don't have to do this alone... our American culture is very individual but raising a child wasn't meant to be this way.... ask for and accept help from those who are willing.
Lesson learned today. Long run, keeping healthy mentally, spiritually & physically is important in our 40s w/ 1-2 year olds. Im so overweight Im afraid time is ticking away faster than I can catch up before I find the time to lose the 30+ lbs of weight that categorizes me as obese. So the little things I can do if I cant exercise to just keep healthy is basic essentials 1st. Shower & eat. Today I struggled, my daughter got viral pink eye in daycare but since Ive been pressing up against a work deadline, Ive been only sleeping 4 hrs a night of broken sleep that I caught her virus & nearly fainted from overdoing it for her. I strapped her into a high chair & shut my eyes for a few minutes before she nagged me to get up. But the time was enough to calm my racing heart & get oxygen back into my blood so I can function again. remember your daughter needs you so do you. Its not selfish, you being healthy is for her
Just here to say.. same.
Taking care of yourself *is* doing something positive for her. Your mental health is what lets you show up and be present for her. Kids don't need to be constantly entertained or "doing something" and it doesn't always have to be educational. Boredom is Good! Especially for young minds. Some kids naturally take more to independent play than others, but it's an important skill. My first needs more engagement, but art has always been an activity that will occupy her alone for a while, so when she was around 2 I got an art easel with the big rolls of paper and a bunch of washable crayons. Find what works for you/her. And screens are not the end of the world - plenty of learning games and shows when you need some downtime.
Being a mom is tough. I stayed home with 3 girls and have given my family everything and and then some for the past 15 years. This year is about me. Let me know if you want to talk more
Still looking for help/answers. This video helped a bit. https://youtu.be/LOf-KabHOws?si=lF0JgoM-iQ2FYCB3
The other thing that is helping is staying present in the moment. Then making one good decision at a time.
Yes, you must make boundaries and work continuously to implement and uphold them. But, you must also give yourself grace when you're not able to, because well you're prioritizing your daughter who is not going to be 2 years old forever. My advice is to let the guilt go first. It doesn't serve a good purpose here... I'm trying to do the same here so dont think that 90% of moms aren't experiencing similar feelings. You're not odd or imply poor at managing time, this is something we all go through and must adapt to. You're probably doing a great job, judging by the way your inner voice cares for your child. But just don't dump on her mama!