We listen and we don’t judge

Ok mamas so all our babies are soon approaching 3 so idk bout yall but my babies getting into her tantrum throwing mean girl era and this is new because my daughter was always so sweet and kind I have veryyy little patience and I’m alll for the gentle parenting but it’s not working I don’t put my hands on her I don’t put her on time out (she doesn’t understand the concept I’ve tried ) I just let her cry and when I’m toooo overstimulated I walk away and lock myself in the bathroom and leave her to sleep alone on the bed this breaks every part of me as a mom I feel so defeated I feel so guilty and ashamed idk what to do my mom and grandma make me feel worse because they say I should just cuddle her until it’s over but she doesn’t wanna cuddle she fights throws herself hurts herself idk what to do anymore and mentally my mental health is starting to feel the pressure of life and mothering being present sorry for the long rant I needed to talk about this with someone and didn’t know who I feel like some may judge and have their internal comments but I’m feel so defeated idk where else to turn

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I'm in that boat too. I'm lucky that while I don't have a nearby village, I do have wonderful distant villagers who know a lot. My daughter is doing the same, one time she attached herself to my hair and fell asleep. I was very upset that day. The important thing to remember is that you aren't in charge of making the tantrum shorter, you are there to be their safe place. The best advice I've been given is to remind the child that you hear them, if they don't want to be touched just sit by and say things like I hear you, I'm listening. If they are doing something unsafe, intervene, and tell them that you are keeping them safe. When they are calmer you can work on safer alternatives for them to do. If they are trying to hurt you, don't let them. You can also say I am letting you hurt me. Sometimes going into a smaller room can help, because the emotions need to "fill the room" also introducing a stuffed animal can help, just by keeping it nearby when you are with your child It's okay to walk away for a moment

You are definitely not alone in Feeling this way. My daughter is also almost 3 and doing all of this. We used to be able to redirect more. I do still try to but most of our tantrums now are because she isn't allowed to do said thing(jump on the couch, stand on the toilet) trying to cuddle or speak to her only makes the tantrum worse. So I just tell her I hear that she is upset(acknowledge the feeling) but standing on the toilet is dangerous so it's not aloud (state the rule and the why) then I sit near her and "ignore" it. If she catches me even looking at her it gets worse 🥴 When it dies down I offer a hug and when she's calm we talk about feelings. It's exhausting.

Redirection redirection redirection. They are testing boundaries and gaining autonomy. I always try and give options. So I know stopping to play to nap will cause a tantrum so I say "it's time to get ready for a nap. Do you want to stomp like a dinosaur up the stairs or fly like a bird?". If the tantrum is already in full swing I acknowledge what my toddler is frustrated about and offer options to calm down. A hug, counting to ten, deep breaths. Just like all of us, we need to regulate emotions and kiddos need help. It's all developmentally normal so hang in there.

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