New bf troubles

My new bf and I had intercourse for the first time after dating for 2 months, and although every time we were about to be intimate, I asked if he had a condom and he didn’t. I told him I don’t do it without a condom, but then when we were intimate for the first time, he put it in without a condom. It was at like 7am after spending the night, he woke me up with kisses and I was in a sleepy haze but welcoming the kisses. Next thing I know he’s asking “can I come on your stomach”, I said yes, and then he put it in. I was kinda in shock and feel awkward, I freeze up in awkward situations. He only lasted like 3 mins anyway, so it was over before I could even wake up and be like “hey hey whoa no”. I didn’t expect him to do this since I thought myself clear with only having sex with a condom on. I confronted him about it and he said “you’re so sexy I just couldn’t control myself, I needed to have you”. Would you continue dating him?

Show your support

That’s a violation. Is that behavior you are willing to tolerate going forward?

No I wouldn't! His reason or any reason is not valid! You told him and he didn't listen, I wouldn't continue it with him

@ALI ugh, I feel so weird about it and just wish he didn’t do that. He knows how I feel about it. It’s odd too cuz on IG, you can unsend messages and I asked him if he sent me a message or if my phone was being weird(knowing that he probably unsent the message but I was testing him) and he said “no I didn’t message you, it’s probably your phone being weird”. But then today i got a notif that my friend sent me a message but when I checked, the message wasn’t there. So I asked him if he unsent the message and he said yes. So now I’m like okay my bf def unsent a message then lied and said it was my phone? So weird to lie about something so small.

@Sophie Jones Yea I def shouldn’t right? Why do men do these things…he’s 45 and I’m 26 so it’s like wow…these men never mature and put a woman first over their desires. It’s kinda giving rapey vibes..

Naw, it’s not just men love. He’s 45 and you’re 26. That’s controlling behavior and you’ve got to look deeper into these things. And yes, it could absolutely lead to forcible sexual actions. Controlling, dismissive and not truthful. It’s a no for me. Maturity doesn’t always come with age.

Just no your worth, have a think about it! But I would definitely run x

@ALI ofc it’s not just men but in this type of situation, I feel like men tend to be the violators cuz I feel like women are less likely to violate sexual boundaries, but men like to push those boundaries…my friend only dates older dudes cuz she thinks they’re more mature, but I’ve come to learn that older doesn’t mean more mature🤮. Her man is not mature either so it’s funny (not haha funny) she feels that way 🤦🏽‍♀️

If you said no and explained that to him before hand, and he decided to do it while you were basically asleep it is considered assault, it’s not something you wanted and he knew that but took advantage anyways and sees no wrong. It’s absolutely not ok especially since you’re feeling weird about it.. it’s different from being in a trusting relationship where you and your partner already established a healthy sex life and them waking you up for morning sex and you being ok with it.

Girl run and that age difference…. Age doesn’t matter a man can be 60 with a mind of a 16 year old

He didn't respect your boundaries, therefore violating your consent .... no, I'd leave immediately.

It sounds like he’s trying to “accidentally” get you pregnant, especially considering the age difference. He’s definitely attracted to the increased fertility of a 26 year old over women his own age.

@Shayla well good thing he did pull out, but he did say something about how we’d have cute kids before he did anything so, what you said sounds correct 💀 I would freaked out if he did release inside me!!

@Asu yea, it’s gotta be a done deal

@Jade so cringey and gross. I liked him a lot before this -_-

@jackie yeah you’re so right. I’m still in disbelief he did this to me and put me in this position to have to end it cuz he’s an A hole

Try today for free

Scan the QR code and join the app
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.

Download Peanut to connect with women at a similar stage in life.

Star Star Star Star

Trusted by 5M+ women