Visitors
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You’re not being unreasonable at all, this is an absolute bug bear of mine when family/friends aren’t being considerate of your needs and wants.. I know they’re excited but that comes second. It always surprises me - don’t they remember the feeling when they started their own family? How do you think they would react if you explained it to them in a nicely worded message and ask if they could come the following week?
That’s really tough but you are not being at all unreasonable- even though it seems like you might have been ignored a bit already, so you have the kind of relationship where you could tell them explicitly like you have explained it in your post? I know I couldn’t do this with my mum but luckily she has taken a bit more of a back seat and listened to me this time (2nd baby). I’m not sure where you are but I would also use the midwife visits as a part of your excuse - in my area we have them on day 1, 5 and 10 and they can come any time between 9 and 5 so I refused to have visitors on those days saying that they’d need to check my stitches etc. I didn’t have one myself but I think because sections are relatively common, people forget that it is major surgery and throw in looking after a baby, it’s a really tough time! I hope you manage to find a solution that suits what you want and need! x
Honestly the best thing to do is just be blunt. Explain how you appreciate the excitement and how eager they are to meet their grandchild but you will not be ready or allowing for visitors, let alone long term visitors until X date onwards. You don’t need to make excuses, you want time to recover after major surgery and navigating life with a newborn together and that should be final. If they love and respect you then they will be disappointed sure but understanding.
Had this issue with in laws as well as my mum and, after talking to the health visitor, the general recommendations is to not have visitors for at least 2 weeks and to not pass the baby around too much as it can affect baby's bonding so just blame what the health visitor says
Oh dear I feel your pain on this one and can totally empathise with how you’re feeling. I’ve been getting so anxious about family wanting to visit really early on, but they all live locally and will just be popping by etc. I think all you can do is be honest and say you don’t know if you’re gonna be up for 5 days of visits after only 1 week. The fact your partner will only be off work for 2 weeks is a good reason not to want them there time as well. Xx