Has anyone lost it and shouted at their baby?

No but I'm close. He's so so whingey and whiney and now he's sick as well. I'm at 10/10 stress all day every day and now I can't even go out with the pram because he hates that too. I almost feel like if I'd known my life would get this bad I wouldn't have had a child and that makes me feel awful but I'm a prisoner with a screaming cell mate now

The first step here would be to leave your abusive relationship. Get back in touch with your health visitor and ask for support in this.

@Aggs I've tried. She doesn't take me seriously as she thinks my partner seems nice and charming.

That is awful, it's literally their job to help you with this kind of thing! Please go over her head and ask for someone else to help you, you cannot continue like this, it isn't fair on you or your little one. I know you know this and it's easier said than done, but you both deserve so much better.

I agree with Kay. You can absolutely request another HV or a supervisor. You can also ask your GP for help. Or call your local council or police department.

Sadly emotional abuse isn't taken seriously. I also told the perinatal team what I'm going through and instead of helping me, they have told my partner behind my back what I told them in confidence, and they are adamant that they'll only "help" me if he can be involved, but he's actually one of the biggest issues for me. Annoyingly they also believe his version of the truth over mine. He's very charming and charismatic, and that gets a lot of people to like him.

I have and PPR is real. It’s good to feel guilty as it’s a show of reflection but sometimes you just have to. Also if your wee one won’t stop crying and you need a break pop them in a play pen or somewhere safe, get a wee camera where you can watch them and leave the room. I did this when my girl was a newborn and it made me much more sane.

Just remember, when youre at that point put baby down in their cot and leave the room. With my oldest I struggled a lot I would stand in the garden for 5 mins to calm down. He would scream for hours on end. I did shout at him once as a baby and i still feel guilty about it to this day. Go to some mum and baby groups to meet new friends. Quite often they have professionals who can help or come see you once a week for someone to talk to Also if needed ask your GP for help. Theres no shame if you need antidepressants

Postpartum rage is normal with all our hormones trying to get back to normal, try and go in another room for 5/10 mins to calm down/put ear phones in with music when trying to deal with the crying helps so much x

OP where are you based? I can find some resources for you.

@Aggs Gloucester. Thank you, you are truly too kind.

Hopefully some of the below can be helpful to you. Some have phone lines and others have live chats you can utilise instead. The last two are from the police and the NHS giving you more info on the help they provide. The NHS also has a good list at identifying what constitutes signs of DV. I know it’s super difficult, especially with a partner like you have described, but remember it’s not ok and you don’t need to just accept it. Keep reaching out for help. Of course choose whichever option is best for you, I would personally reach out to the GP to have a written record, and then the bigger organisations first as they are properly trained to deal with situations like yours, and tell them that your perinatal team not only broke confidentiality but has completely disregarded you seeking help for both you and baby. I hope you manage to work something out, keep us updated 💛

https://www.bewellglos.org.uk/womens-aid/ https://www.gdass.org.uk/domestic-abuse-support/ https://www.gloucester.gov.uk/housing/private-tenants-and-homeowners/domestic-abuse-abuse-violence-or-threats/ https://www.stroudwomensrefuge.org https://www.gloucestershire.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/support-organisations/ https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/

I have and hat myself for it. I've had postnatal rage and depression. I'm a solo mum. No support. It's hard

emotional abuse is very much taken seriously its just harder to prove, talking from experience when he is that charming with outsiders the only way is to record him with out his knowledge only if you feel like you can and safe to do so, those characters really know how to manipulate. Im not judging or condoning shouting at a baby, as you have to remember your little one is teething or a number of reasons and picks up on how anxious mummy is and gets more worked up. Please do not let that asshole be little u and make u believe ur a failure! because ur not! Try contacting the national domestic hotline they can guide u to all the help u need. https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

So sorry thsr you're going through all this. Being a full time mum is hard at the best of times, and without support impossibly hard. You're doing the best you can & that's all you can do, but as others have said there will be support out there you just have to seek it. Great advice given already but also The Panda's foundation can be brilliant for post natal support - they have helplines, support groups etc. https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/