Discipline

I’m struggling with this right now too! My daughter is almost 2 years old and if I ever have a big reaction to anything she thinks it is hilarious. I just stay relaxed, sternly tell her “no” and redirect her to something else. So far it seems 90% helpful to get her to stop the behavior but I get worried I am not actually teaching her to stop doing certain things. I wish I had more to help but definitely staying calm in those situations can be beneficial.

I had to break this habit with my 3 year old son. You just gotta keep doing it and they'll eventually stop laughing. They don't think your funny it's a defense mechanism because they are uncomfortable.

Your reaction is probably what is making them laugh. They find it funny to see how annoyed you get 🙈. With discipline it shouldn’t be reactional and based off of emotion. For example if my daughter hits she knows exactly what is going to happen. She has to sit on the stairs in time out. She doesn’t see me getting upset or annoyed (90% of the time looool). She used to play up getting up a million times but she has realised that it’s not going to work neither is she going to get any entertainment out of it. It has helped a lot. I don’t even need to take her now. She will do something I will say okay what happens when we do that? She will say time out, il say go and sit on the stairs and I will come and get you when your time is up. She’s learning that her actions have consequences. She will try and say sorry sometimes to avoid it but sorry comes after the consequences!

Teach them *how* to behave the right way. Say what you want them to say or do and have them repeat it or act it out appropriately. Give them a minute to get the laughs/feelings out (they can't really think or learn in that state anyway) then you can assist them the first few times if necessary. Continue until they are able to repeat the words or actions unassisted, then take a step away to let them "try again," if appropriate. If they mess up again, repeat your instructions. If they still can't get it, take a break and help them move on to something else. (Which could look like taking away a toy, having kids separate from each other, stopping what you're doing to read a story, whatever needs to happen)

My friend did the naughty spot and when I watched her kids I put the 3 year old on it after he punched her 2 year old. He didn’t believe I was serious because I was always the one who’d let him get away with little things. I just kept putting him on it and carried on playing with the other two kids ignoring him until he sat for his 3 minutes, explained he should punch people and asked him to say sorry to his brother. He did and we carried on playing with all of us. He’s 14 now and since that first time i never had to pit him on the naughty spot again. A bit supernannyish but it worked

Stay calm. Non reactionary. And model the behaviour you would like. It’s so hard not to get frustrated/ but just continue the same thing again and again and again … 😅 If it’s really bad, time to themselves in a space safe.

@Gilly agree with non reactionary the only problem with the if it’s bad statement is the inconsistency might be confusing for them. That’s expecting them to understand too much in terms of ‘oh it was okay that time (there was no negative consequence of missing out on a few minutes of play) because when I pushed child A they were fine but this time when I did the same thing I have to go because child B fell over and bust their lip on the table… That can create anxiety and associate discipline with punishment instead of correction. It’s also good to teach them once they have achieved the consequence what could be done in the future in replacement of the behaviour that you don’t want.

I see what you’re saying , however, from my personal experience, if I make a big deal of something and my child feels shame (label other feelings) it doesn’t seem productive in the long run. If I model the behaviour I’d like, it has a longer lasting impact. Eg my oldest hurts my youngest. I don’t “tell him off” I’d say , oh no, that wasn’t kind . Go to the youngest, ensure they’re ok make a bit of a fuss about it. And then play nicely with youngest. I would ask oldest if there’s anything he thinks he could do now. Usually this results in a sad looking oldest, apologising and asking youngest if he’d like a cuddle. Then they continue to play nicely. If oldest is too deregulated and it’s escalating, is when I’d say something like. “It looks like you need some time to yourself as you have some big feelings” and he will have some time out until he’s feeling ready to play nicely.. Hope that makes some sort of sense…

Okay I get what you are saying. I think you mistake correction with something bad. It’s not to shame. It’s to teach action and consequence (positive and negative)because in life every action has a consequence. It’s not about shouting or trying to upset or shame them, naturally the aim is for them to choose the right behaviour because they like the positive consequences that comes with that behaviour. Why I mentioned that was due to inconsistent discipline leads to instability. They are never sure when they are just going to be told or when they will earn the negative consequence. In terms of which behaviours im not saying it’s EVERYTHING you need to make a big deal and not everything will have the same consequence either. sharing etc is a part of learning and they need to practice this more and be encouraged and modelled this as you said… For example the only things my daughter gets to sit in time out for are things she knows 100% is not acceptable in our home/family.