Am I being unreasonable or not

Not a lads holiday but my husband might be going to californium for a work jolly and I'm really noy comfortable about it. We have a 2.5yo and I've a physical disability, I'm functioning but struggle with pain/strength. I've said if sooner but 7mths I'd not be haply

My husbands going on a stag do for 5 days I’ll be 30 weeks and I’ve encouraged him to go! I’d want him to do the same if it was me. I do have a good support system around me (mum, friends etc). I’m also a high risk pregnancy due to being diabetic and previous late loss. I say if you have a good support system around you then let him go, it’s his choice and his risk, will only be him regretting it if he misses the birth x

I’m going on my besties hen party in Benidorm and I’ll be 6m, obviously I’ll be really careful and won’t be partying but I’d be devastated if my partner said he wouldn’t want me going. It’s completely understandable that your not feeling great about this but I think it would be a different story if you was 8/9m/baby was just here. Emotions can be high when your pregnant too, I’m sure he will be so so excited to get back home to you and start family life 🫶♥️

@Jo So sorry for your loss 🤍 I do totally get where your coming from, maybe I am also just annoyed that this will be his 4th year going away since having our first little girl without him also giving me the opportunity to do so with my friends as he hasn’t wanted to be left at home with the responsibility of looking after our daughter whereas as her mum it’s kind of just expected of me. We don’t really have much support which is also the worrying thing as if anything does go wrong whilst he’s away anyone available to help will be to look after our daughter and it will leave me alone in the hospital and I do feel like if it did come to that it would massively effect us going forward as it’s quite easily a trip that could be taken at a different time wether that be earlier/later or even just somewhere slightly easier to get home from if he’s insistent that it’s to be when I am 32 weeks😕

@Dev I think it’s also probably more the fact that he wouldn’t do the same back for me as we do already have a nearly 4 year old and he’s been away every year since and I’ve never managed to as he hasn’t wanted the responsibility and the fact that he didn’t try to understand where I was coming from didn’t help either. I probably have over thought it due to hormones and even though I am high risk I am hopeful that everything will be ok but obviously can’t be sure and would like to think that he at least understood why I was feeling the way I am 😕

Yeah I think I would be a little thrown off. More because of the distance like you say! My husband’s going for a stag 2 weeks before my due date but he’ll only be an hour or so away and it’s just the weekend. But Dubai is some distance. But I think what would frustrate me more is him not allowing you to go away with your friends! That’s really not fair on you, he’s also a parent and can look after his child whilst you’re away.

@Emily it’s tricky because I’ve just never really been that upset about not being able to go away with my friends because I’ve always prioritised our holidays as a family and I know that I can’t personally afford 2 separate holidays. But it also gets to me that the lads holiday he is going on this year, he is paying for the whole lot!!! Whereas our holidays are split between us which is why I’m left unable to go away with my friends as financially it just isn’t possible and I wouldn’t like to expect him to have to pay for the entire family holiday. He’s told me this year due to us not being able to go on a family holiday I can go on a holiday with my friends but he has only said that knowing I’m unable to do so because of being high risk🥲 honestly if he told me he was going 1 or 2 hours away I would be much more relaxed about the situation because the flights home would be much easier to get incase of an emergency, ugh

That’s bang out of order! What does he mean that he does not want the responsibility of looking after his daughter alone? You also need time to yourself! That would really annoy me, I have a daughter and my husband supports me to take space whenever I need, whether that is working late or going away for conferences / meeting friends in different cities and I return that if he would want to , because even if you are a parent , you also need time for yourself and your needs

@Diana his excuse is I work less than him (for myself and from home so I don’t actually think he sees it as work) and our daughter does a set 3.5 days at nursery so sometimes there are weeks I only work 2.5 of those days and have a whole day to my self during the week to do what I like so he thinks that that is enough for me to be catching back up on anything I want to do/need to do without any additional support from him 🥲 in the grand scheme of things when I look back on it all it is kinda wild and I do put up with probably a lot more than I should but again he uses the ‘I pay for more so I get to do more’ and I feel I can’t really argue with that 😕 think i need to have a sit down with him

I didn’t realise you had a 4 year old, okay yes he wouldn’t be going then that’s a completely different situation. High risk looking after a 4 year old, his holiday can wait 🫣♥️♥️

Everyone’s relationship is different but i personally think at such a important time in both of your lives, the holiday can wait. He should be putting you and baby first. People have different priorities in relationships but that’s something that I wouldn’t accept. It just shows where his priorities are x

I also only work 3 days (4 now) and our daughter is at nursery, but looking after the little one sometimes is harder than actual work itself! And, staying at home what he sees as time off is probably just catchup on housework, that is reality of life. You are working hard part time and looking after your child the other time, just because looking after his child does not bring “income” does not mean it is not an important and demanding job!! He is in a relationship and you have children, it shouldn’t be who pays for what, but how you function as a family, and you have plenty of roles by the sounds of it that you do, and they should be accounted for! Be proud - and yes have that conversation you know what is right ❤️

Personally this would piss me off, i am high risk pregnancy for pre term birth after a previous loss in 2nd trimester even if i had a good support system around me theres nobody i would want or need by my side more than my partner, so for him to even think about going on a lads holiday especially when you could have baby early is selfish of him in my opinion He seems to care more about this lads holiday than the safety of his partner and unborn baby

I think every pregnancy and relationship is different. And we all have different support networks around us. My parents are in Hawaii and my partners family is in Asia and America. So everyone feels a bit far away. I am not high risk but I did ask my partner to go on work trips in March and April instead of July as I’m due in August. He thought that was a reasonable ask. It sounds like maybe he hasn’t been very supportive of your free time to have fun with your friends and so this feels extra sensitive. Hopefully you can find a way to have a time for yourself away from kids and everyday hassle like he will.

I don't want to comment too much because I don't want to add to how badly you're already feeling... But you're not being unreasonable at all 😢