Boundaries and sticking to them
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@Yoshi thank you. She is climbing to get anything she wants - absolutely anything. Sorry, I wasn’t clear. Not climbing to get into spaces. She will try and climb her drawers in bedroom to reach the curtain pole ends! Or she will get something to stand on to take food out of fridge etc. I’m there helping her to make a Choice but she’ll try and take a whole punnet of straws or grapes (uncut) etc which need preparing. I guess in the moment she’s so quick, impulsive and frantic.
But even say if outside and she sees something that takes interest she will bolt. It seems links to her impulse. We very much follow her lead but feel exhausted and wonder if we give in too much. She recently tried to use her little bike to climb to reach the top of thr fridge. She snacks a lot - we access a private dietician and she definitely snacks too much but we tend to honour any communication requests to strengthen her early communication skills but then realise whatever she requests she gets even if not appropriate perhaps just before dinner etc. Sorry for the extra message!
I took a RUBI parenting class and they told me with tantrums if you’re going to give in, give in early. Otherwise they learn there is a threshold of protest that will get them what they want. I couldn’t cope with the hard line approach so I took the “give in early this time and make sure there’s no next time” - so like, I have child locks on all the cupboards and also have lots of alternative spaces (pop up tents, blanket forts, etc) for her to climb up and into, because shes looking for that sensation of finding a burrow. RUBI method gives you tools for observing and analyzing behavior - i know people ofgen briatle at the mention of ABA but this is truly “applied behavioral analysis” (versus the misbranded conditioning/ compliance) in the sense you study your child and learn what they are looking for so you can meet needs in a safe. constructive way.
@Susan thank you. Makes sense. I do give in too much! So hard isn’t it.
We would have to look at why she’s doing each behaviour and it will be different for every behaviour. For example with climbing in and out of the cupboards is it that she’s needing the climbing to regulate so by redirecting her to something more appropriate to climb on would be the solution. But there may also be other reasons too e.g does she climb into the cupboards when you’re busy doing another task so that’s the way she’s learnt to ask for you etc. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, it’s very hard!! Happy to help Dr Yoshi xx Www.seetheperson.co.uk