My depression is so bad from being a mom
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My mom has a lot of health issues from smoking cigarettes and is currently in the hospital again for it so my siblings spend all their time there when they’re free. My husbands mother is 4 hours away from us. We get a date night baby sitter once every couple of months, other than that no one helps
Id speak to the GP cos this sounds like PPD
My nephew was a screamer, couldn't get put down without mum having to pick him back up again. It was a lot! Well done for having 2 little ones and still being alive. I would have died from biscuit consumption 😂 The thing that will give you a bit of life into you is ironically a break which we don't get, we are mums. My partner takes over on his days off, I cook. What's one thing you LOVED doing before you had kids? Like I've always loved cooking it relaxes me but when I'm in the hole its also the one thing I don't want to do. Luckily I have 1 batch cooking day a month so I can just defrost and reheat. Maybe when your husband is home you could get an hour to just put headphones on and jump in the bath. Once a week, give you some you time ot sounds like you need ❤️ Sending hugs!
I think Pandas might be helpful for you to explore. You’re not alone. They offer peer-to-peer support that is easy to access, no need to wait for a referral etc. You can use their resources from a chat on WhatsApp to consultation calls and support groups for free: https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/
Can your mom or his mom give you a break? I think you just really need a break to just get some time for yourself and think or go out and do something. It is very overwhelming I can’t even imagine with two.