I want to cry every time I stop

It can be both. Kids are full on. They're a lot. And working on top of that is a lot. Your body and your mind are telling you that you need a break. If you don't listen, there's a good chance you'll burn out. And that's a whole different problem and a lot harder to deal with. Maybe you need to move house cleaning and shopping to a day when you have your bebe at home. I know it will probably seem more stressful with the company but then you can spend that day alone just doing nothing or something that you enjoy. No plans, no expectations, a day to just be. And hey, love a good cry. It's an AMAZING stress reliever. So get them fancy tissues and a bit of chocolate and have a (I don't wanna say pity party, but that's probably the most accurate phrase I can think of) good wallow. As for talking to a psych, you can always try. You can get a mental health care plan from your gp for 10 rebated sessions. It'll either work for you or it won't. You got this. You're doing so well and I'm so proud of you 💕

I also agree it could be either or, or both. I think in your situation I would do like said previously, and do some of the things on days you are home with your daughter so you have more time to yourself on that one day. I would also plan that day off to make sure I'm taking full profit of it. And find something that actually brings me joy, like a hobby. I've grown to love shopping with my LO, granted it's more chaotic but I always think that it's great for her to see everyday tasks/chores being done and how it's done. Plus she enjoys it too now, she sees lots of people, we talk about what we see on the shelves etc it can be fun if you make it that way. She also loves to help clean up the house, same it's definitely not helpful but I think it's great for her and for me. I would still strongly suggest talking to your GP about it. Do a mental health care plan and/or start on some medication. Personally, both have been life savers. If it wasn't for my medication, I'd feel exactly like you describe most days !

You sound like me and I was given a medical management plan from the gp today. He basically said I'm in the mild category, I'm aware of myself and how I'm coping and leaning more to the anxiety side than the depression side but that support will help me

This is me too! Not back at work yet but kids are going to daycare in prep for when I return in a month. After talking to my husband and humbling myself to accept that I’m not coping I’ve booked an appointment with my GP to look into a mental health plan and psych. I’ve also put some things in place in the meantime to help fill my tank. One of those has been to let go of the to do list and minimise expectations. I also find communicating whatever I’m carrying on my mental load regarding our kids or the house to my husband helps. These are just some of the things that I’ve implemented. And on the day off I drop the kids and then head to a cafe first, and while drinking a coffee and eating a treat I plan my shopping list and my day, which always involves a nap and chill time. I have found like you, that if I go home from daycare drop off I lose motivation. All the best with whatever you do next!