Overwhelmed, sick and exhausted

Oh sweetie I'm not sure if I have any advice but sending a massive hug 🫂. I'm only on day 3 at the mo and baby won't be put down at all and I can only imagine how you're feeling 🥺. I think it's completely normal to be resentful on such lack of sleep and hopefully someone will have some good advice for you but you're absolutely not alone ❤️

It might be Home Start that you heard of. Sleep deprivation is horrible. Can you take shifts with your partner so you both get some sleep? Also ask wider family/friends to help you sleep a bit in the day if possible? It does improve… baby probiotics helped our first a bit with his belly I think https://www.boots.com/optibac-baby-drops-30-servings-10347067?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAA-AdmwTd6IlbcHIjuEXwO2zzxG_sP&gclid=CjwKCAiAlPu9BhAjEiwA5NDSA3wncCwo6scN8nup7WsIJnfdtv6AdtjnFpIoT_MEpFG4mk4olCMaLRoCd7wQAvD_BwE

Me and my husband kinda had shifts I asked him if he’ll take care of her from 9 until 1 or 2 am I’ll do the rest and that worked out pretty good since I had three months off I thought that was fair. By week 6 she was sleeping through the night. You could try bicycle legs that’s helped us a lot at first. It definitely does get easier my daughter is almost 8 months now and she’ll fight going to sleep or just taking a nap really. So that parts kinda brutal but after 50-60 minutes of starting bed time routine she’s out. And that time flies fast. One thing I constantly thought of is she’s just a baby she doesn’t know anything. And contact nap if you need to. Try to sleep when she does. This could also be colic there’s nothing to be done just have to wait for it to pass.

My friend just had a baby around the same time as you and baby has tongue tie, which has led to them eating little often then immediately getting gassy and restless, only sleeping once they've passed wind then waking again shortly after as they didn't eat enough. Could it be something like this? Her baby is having it snipped this week, but at the moment baby sleeps pretty much upright in a bassinet / pram which tilts. He will settle in a baby wrap but obviously want to avoid that while you sleep!

Like Kimi, shifts really worked for us . I would go to bed early and he would keep baby with him in the living room until about 2am so I’d get at least 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep which made all the difference. We did lots of bicycle legs, tummy massage and used infacol which seemed to help but have a chat with the health visitor and see if they have other suggestions.

You have my sympathy it’s brutal. Iv had a horrific night last night with my 4 week old, hardly slept. I also think resentful thoughts to her, but I love her to bits. Sleep deprivation does crazy and sad things to your mind. 💕💕 Hope it gets a bit more manageable soon

Thank you for all of the suggestions and warm wishes. I’ve been awake for 15 hours now without my usual 30 minute crash. We’re in hospital and she is being checked over for a possible bowel obstruction. Me and my partner try to take it in shifts but she’s so inconsolable that no matter where you are in the house all you can hear is her in distress. Hopefully now something gets done about it as I finally feel we are being listened to. They are going to arrange more visits with the health visitor as my exhaustion is a ‘red flag’

Bless you, newborns are tough but it does get easier I promise. Do you have any family you trust that can literally come over for an hour or two during the day for you to have a nap? Failing that I agree with what another response said, do “shifts” with your partner. That’s what we did and it’s the only way we could do it. We both did four hours each during the night and that block of 4 hours sleep was enough to make it manageable to get through the day. You’re doing great 😊

Sorry just saw this comment after I posted. Bless you, best to get little one checked as something may be causing her distress. Hope she’s ok!

It's brutal, I felt like I was dying for the first 3 weeks. It does get better. If you can split the night wakes with your partner that will be a massive help

I see why your partner would feel uncomfortable however you would be in the house and these people have checks. If it is home start my local one is amazing. The volunteers are so supportive and it sounds like that would be a great help and something that you really would benefit from. It’s worth meeting with them and seeing how you feel yourself because you’re the one who is experiencing the exhaustion. Hope it improves for you soon x

Update: we have been in the hospital all morning. It’s not a bowel obstruction but seems to be an intolerance to the enzymes in dairy/soya protein. I’m going to have to completely change my diet and get on a pumping schedule, we will have specific formula to supplement her at times I need a break. It has explained everything. The constipation, trapped wind, relentless hours of being inconsolable and in pain. Even her noisy breathing, eczema, over eating and reflux. They are keeping us in the hospital for now and we’ll be talking to a dietician tomorrow. I don’t know how long we’ll be here, but they have promised we won’t be sent home without answers and some sort of change. I have been listened to finally! After countless appointments of being told she can’t be over fed and that she’s just being a normal baby. Everyone I have spoken to today has seen that she is not okay, she’s in pain and I am about to collapse. They are taking care of us both now.

First time mums trust your gut. I knew my baby was not okay, and it took three days of a mental breakdown to get real results.