Not exactly baby daddy drama but …

I’m honestly at my wits end, I have never had a break from the time I gave birth to our first daughter which was Nov2021 , I’m now pregnant with our 2nd child and I’m honestly just done . I am always the person that takes care of everyone but when it comes to me? I literally cry everyday thinking I have no one I can turn to! I’m 6weeks away from giving birth and the thought of it haunts me everyday . I gave birth to my first child and had absolutely no help - I mean literally no help , my husband left me alone just 2 hours after I gave birth to go smoke some joints and I still think about how I was treated every single day . My mother chose to look after our dog instead of helping me through that postpartum stage , now being pregnant with my 2nd it’s just getting hard and I always have this feeling I may run away leaving my kids with my husband just so I could catch a break . I’m so scared to have a c-section cause when I had a normal delivery with my first - 4 out of 6 stitches ripped apart , so the thought of having a C-section and stitches getting ripped up scares Tf out of me . I honestly wake up crying everyday thinking I have no one to turn to when things are rocky . I don’t think anyone is as scared as me just of the thought of having anything else other than a normal delivery because I need to be able to look after my toddler and cook after I give birth . My husband has never helped with bath time or feeding time or anything matter of fact , I now know for sure he would never take care of me the way I take care of him . Even when I’m sick or supposed to be on bedrest now because I have SPD but yet I can’t catch a break , I wish I could say I see this situation getting better but no I’m in fear the worst is yet to happen. I don’t mean to be negative but being through what I’ve been through I’m just scared.

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With much kindness, can you explain what made you get pregnant by him again and go through with the pregnancy? No judgement, just curious. I cannot imagine the position you’re in and it’s not fair at all that you have to be in it. I think if he’s not going to PARENT, because it is parenting, not helping, he needs to hire you help to have time to yourself. Doing everything alone since 2021 is a LONG time and it sounds draining. 🥺 With there being someone else present that’s unacceptable in my opinion. I feel it’s time for an ultimatum. If you have the money or resources, see if you can find a doula who offers postpartum services or just someone who is willing to help you at least occasionally that you TRUST. If you’re at the point you’re thinking about running away, you’re way past burnout and I hate that for any mom. 💕

@Mandi @Jackie O. I understand if I were to be judged because no one in their right mind would put themselves in a situation knowing what the outcome would be . I don’t even know if this would make sense . But I was a single child and my parents were divorced. My aunt and uncle brought me up and I stayed mostly with them and their children . I was sexually assaulted by one of my cousins from the age of 8 , and by another uncle around the age of 10 . I started self harming from the age of 8 because of the lack of not having anyone to turn too . My mother is always the type of woman who likes keeping the peace despite whatever has happened, from then on she made me realise I have no one I could turn too or anyone who’d support me , I always seen my cousins with their siblings and how close they all were . I’ve always wanted to experience having someone I can turn too because my parents were never there . I made a promise that I would never let my children feel the way I have

While I knew my husband wouldn’t be of much help , I put my ego and worries aside so I could see my children growing up having each other , if anything were to happen to me I would happily leave knowing I made sure my girls are always there for each other through thick or thin . Today’s world is a scary place , it’s hard when you have no one to turn too . Friends come and go , cousins drift away , siblings in today’s world hate on each other , but I know I would do a good job raising them to be sisters who are there for each other and not just sisters by blood. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense

@Mandi thank you for your kind words , I’ve never heard anyone say the things you’ve said , it does make it seem a little better . Again thank you so much ♥️

I felt every word of this. Exactly what I went through with my kids' dad. I pray you can find for village 🤍🤍🤍

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