You’re not a failure and you’re not a bad mom. You don’t need to be beating yourself up the way you do. It doesn’t change your situation. You do not have to believe everything you think up in your head. Your thoughts about yourself are not fact no matter how many reasons it comes up with. You don’t have to go through this the hardest way possible, you can first start out with the most important thing, your suicidal thought
I tried therapy but it’s not working so I’ll try seeing a psychiatrist. Thank you 🫶🏼
Start one small thing at a time. Call your doctor and set up an appointment for your mental health. They will offer you meds once you see a psychiatrist and you should absolutely consider taking them. Those are your first steps. That’s all don’t worry about anything else until you’ve accomplished that 🫶