Am I the problem ?

I waited years to have baby. I used to pray and cry all the time that I just wanted my turn to be a mommy. I finally got my turn and my mother ( who abused me my entire life ) messed up my baby shower because I wanted to have a part in planning my own shower and apparently that was robbing her of grandma duties. I had a theme for my baby's 1st brithday since I was pregnant . I used the same photographer that did our newborn and maternity photos. I set up a date with her ( my baby's first brithday weekend ) literally 3 months ahead of time. She said she'd oder the backdrop and flooring. Well literally the day before she calls to tell me the backdrop never came in . I had already picked up the cake for the smash shoot and I was just so upset I immediately started crying. Later that night my I accidentally left a viocemail on her phone of my fiance and I fighting and she canceled the photo shoot literally the morning of. Nobody understands that I have waited for this my whole life, I will never get these big milestones back and some how I'm always the asshole when I get upset that people always f*uck my over . Thought please , how would everyone else be feeling?

Show your support

Were you guys fighting about the photo shoot when you left her that voicemail? If she felt like there was aggression etc. towards her then I can understand wanting to cancel. She would have to believe it was an accident. She should’ve let you know about the back drop in advance.

If you’re going to have the cake anyway and all that either take some photos yourself or try to find someone last minute I guess. I would be disappointed but I don’t think I would cry about it. But that’s me personally, I’m sure lots of people would cry.

I would never leave these important moments for me 100% in someone else's hands... always have a back up.

Don’t invite her to anything. I think she is doing it for fun. I would learn my lesson real quick. This is probably her way of abusing you more as an adult.

Ok. Don’t hate me. But can you just video the smash cake moment and take photos with your own phone? We did one. No fancy photographer. Just us and our neighbours came over to celebrate. She won’t remember or care about this anyways 🤷🏻‍♀️ and if it’s more about you, why does it need to be this way? This is your baby having a bite of something sweet for the first time. It’s not pinnacle to her entire existence.

Stop inviting her to things. Guilting only works if you let it. She's a grandma, okay and? That's your kid, your moments. And allowing her to be involved despite her ruining things multiple times is, at this point, setting yourself up for failure.

Oh no 😟 Maybe just try to set up a photo shoot yourself. There are lots of apps that you can add the background you want to.

The best thing you can do is be present for your baby. Definitely stop allowing someone who abused you your entire life to have major rolls in things especially if she will cancel things or likely never order or book them. Be there for your baby, take the photos and edit the backdrop in after ❤️ Don’t let trivial things ruin your time with your precious child.

Sounds like the photo is still take able. I think you’re too focused on picture perfect and not just fine with life being life. People fight. Mother in laws are rude 90% of the time. Snap the photo and keep living. Don’t put this much negative energy into it.

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