Advice
Hi everyone this may be a long post but I need some advice
My boy is 10 weeks old today and when he was newborn my partner was absolutely brilliant I had a emergency c section so I wasn’t able to do much
Recently it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle
I get up during the week to do night feeds and early morning feeds as he works a very physical job and long hours so I do not mind however it absolutely exhausts me I tell him on the weekend then it’s his turn so I can sleep and get a lay in
But recently it just seems like he does not care about me getting sleep and will just sleep in until ridiculous times in the day no matter how much I try and wake him, won’t wake up in the night or when I wake him up to do the night feed he has the proper hump about it
Recently he keeps getting my boy into bed with him and laying down falling back to sleep I’ve told him so many times that I don’t want him doing it as it’s dangerous like the other day I thought he was in his crib but he was actually in bed with him while I was downstairs when I went up he was absolutely baking under the covers I tried to sit and talk to him and tell him it’s extremely dangerous and if I left it any longer he could of overheated
But then this morning I made him get up to feed our boy and my mum came in and woke me up because he again was in the bed and my partner was asleep
Just seems like he doesn’t care if I’m rested it’s all about him. We got home from Scotland last night after a 12 hour drive (which I understand he must be exhausted so I done the 1 am feed) but he doesn’t think about the fact I was up at 5 am packing the bags to go home and feeding the baby, when getting home unpacking by myself etc so when I woke him up at 5 to feed he got the right hump since then I’ve been up doing bottles, washing, serialising while he’s still asleep
Also I bathed my boy the other night and I asked my partner to get him dried and dressed while I tidied up and he said “well that’s your job you literally get paid by the government for it” talking about my mat pay it’s stuck with me since he said it even though he is now playing it off as a joke
Just stuck on what to do :)
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I’m a single mum so no advice 😆 but he sounds really shitty tbh
@Rhianna I find it very hard to talk to him as it doesn’t quite sink in, as for the sleeping he’s always been someone who could sleep for hours and it being a nightmare to wake up, I got frustrated with him but I explained to him that the sleeping in the bed with him is fine until it isn’t and then it’ll be too late as it’s not even following safe sleep x
Dang, I’m so sorry😭. Would he go to couples therapy?
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Really sorry you’re going through this. My husband did something similar with our first, was super great at the beginning and then started doing less and less when it came to the baby. Someone recently brought up how many dads actually get depressed during the postpartum period. That might be worth looking into especially with the constant sleeping. I’ve gotten comments along the lines of “it being my job” too, which sucked when I was still in school. But it doesn’t change the fact that when they’re done with their job outside of the home they still have responsibilities at home or a home job. Maybe set a time aside to address these issues, especially the sleeping one bc that is dangerous, and I’m someone who is normally all for co-sleeping. I know it can be hard to not just spout everything that you’re frustrated about, but try stating things in a way that doesn’t place blame & is more about how to come together for your child & be on the same page💕