Ending a friendship

So I have this girl that I would of called my best friend but it’s clear I’m not hers, which is fine. I’m calling her R so it’s easier. I want to end the friendship for multiple reasons but it makes me feel bad. When my son was born she was just getting over a cold and we spent the first 5 days in the hospital so she didn’t come visit, understandable. It took her a full month to come visit because her bf didn’t want to come so she wouldn’t. All her friends have baby’s and she’s always commenting on their posts, buying their kids gifts, and visiting them. She hasn’t seen my son in person in well over 3 months. She did move about 4 hours away and comes back 3 weekends a month. She hasn’t asked once to hang out with or to visit my son. When she comes home she’s always with these 2 other girls. One is her cousin who tries to break R and her bf up and the other is a girl who R was friends with since they were 5 and was there when Rs abusive ex almost 💀 her and this friend still dated him after that. This is kinda my final straw with the friendship. R had cancer a year ago and has been cancer free for a year saturday passing. She came home last weekend and of course didn’t say she was coming home. She planned a whole celebration to celebrate being cancer free and never invited me. They went out for supper and had a party where she was staying with drinks and cake and everything. When she found out she had cancer, my next day off I drove up there to be with her and the 2 other girls were suppose to go up the following weekend but told her they “didn’t have any money” but went out drinking with other friends instead. Any snaps or messages I sent sat there unopened until she was back home 4 hours away. The only time she really reaches out is when her bf is being shit or trauma dumping. I stopped reaching out first and I let her messages sit there. It’s petty but I’m acting the way she does to me. Not once has she checked in but messaged me and told me she’s “highly sui-slide-al” (idk what I can and can’t type here) out of no where. I feel like a POS for not answering but that’s the only time she can message me and I can’t stand it. I have spoke to her about this before because even if it’s just friendship communication is important but it’s still the same. Would I be the AH if I just stopped talking to her?

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No she clearly doesn’t see you the same way you see her. She is just using you and it sounds like it is time to cut ties. Friendships should go both ways. And it’s sad that she is hanging out with people that don’t even care about her. You sound like a great friend and I hope that you find someone whose energy match.

No. You're not wrong to think the way you're thinking. It's very obvious that she doesn't see you at the same level of friendship at all. In fact it sounds like she's only using you when in need for her owns needs etc. You're better off without them. Sorry to hear that you're going through this. Been there myself.

My ex bff was like that, literally so many ways but yeah I cut her off after she invited my mom to her wedding but not even responding to me asking the date🫠 her reason was she thought it would be a hassle and we have kids and her wedding is no kids. She didn’t tell me that tho, my mom did. We were family friends sister type since before I was 1 and she was born smh. You’re NOT the asshole, do you and you’ll feel better off not feeling pathetic when she doesn’t respond back like a friend 🤷🏻‍♀️

Cutting friends is so incredibly hard, but sometimes it's necessary. I cut out a friend nearly 7 years ago and I still think about her sometimes and wish things could have been different. But she showed me who she was and I believed her. Unfortunately that meant the end of the friendship.

It sounds like the friendship has already run its course she clearly doesn’t see you as a close friend anymore and isn’t bothering to make an effort to keep you as friend maybe just take some space leave things be and when the time comes maybe you guys can come back to it

I have a friend who I considered my best friend, who I'm no longer friends with really as she no longer makes an effort with me since getting with her latest bloke & also since she made friends with my sister again, who has no children so can go out drinking whenever she likes. If it is all one-sided, then don't feel guilty for ending the friendship.

No, some people only want you when they’re having a hard time and have no one else - if you’re getting nothing out of the friendship then it’s time to say bye bye!

Nope! Unfortunately this sometimes happens with friendships and I have learnt that it is really important to put boundaries in place… especially after having my son I have been more mindful about my friendship circle. Do not feel guilty. Trust your gut. Friendships should feel reciprocal and not out of balance. Don’t worry about those who don’t worry about you.

If it’s causing you more negativity than positivity, cut her off. Your mental health is too important and you can give your time/energy to other things!

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