In my honest opinion you are way too nice to this boy. Instead of being just down right disrespectful to what you were trying to do for the kids he could have made himself useful and went and bought some sand or helped you clean up. Sounds like he is possibly a narcissist and very immature. I know how you feel and I’ve been there with someone that I kept trying to force to communicate with me be but just could not. Some guys are just emotionally not available and immature and they will never get it unfortunately. Fortunately for me I did separate after being with someone for 10 years and wasting my breath telling him about what I needed and never got it…until I moved on and found someone who got me 100% and I never have to ask for what I need and have the most supportive, loving and kind person. Don’t let him disrespect you this way, your kids are also watching and hearing and they will grow up thinking it’s okay to be that way to others as well. Good luck, hugs to you!
@Brenda tbh I do have times where I’m really tired of explaining basic human decency and I’m tired of doing so many things alone that I need a man’s help with, I see the men I grew up with not letting women do any hard work and I’m out here working, raising kids, and building shit and doing yardwork alone…and then to be criticized and not appreciated for all of that is mindblowing to me. I think he thinks he is the prize somehow. I see where when I met him I wasn’t as healed as I am now, and I skipped over certain values that didn’t align…but I love him and he loves me and I don’t want a divorce, I just have concern he’s a narcissist or has mental health things going on that he will never address…his mother is this way…and she is divorced form his dad but his dad still does everything for her and she uses him to the fullest degree shamelessly and is almost sociopathic values-wise.
I think it’s time u start fighting fire with fire! Dont let his words hurt u anymore instead take that pain n throw it right back at him. Give him a taste of his own shit. His ego needs to be chopped down significantly thinking he’s a grown man playing video games!? Hit em where it hurts it won’t take much to shut him up n put him n his place.
I was originally going to go with what Jennifer said lol sometimes ya gotta be a B back, throw his game out, throw a remote at his head…get a little crazy to wake him up and think “whoa somethings wrong” but that’s something I hadn’t learned with my first partner (father of my kids) and learned very much after some healing and learning to speak up for myself in what I will and will not accept in any relationship and made it known to whoever tried to disrespect me, belittle or whatever in any way. Even if he is going through his own struggles that is not an excuse to treat you like crap and not be a man in the household. But again, I know some people like this will never change regardless. To this day the father of my children and I are great friends/co-parents and over the years he has tried to get back together but I know for a fact he is still the same and hasn’t changed in the ways that matter to me most so I know it would never work…something I’ve accepted.
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