Horrible MIL

I feel quite terrible. Visited my in laws yesterday with my 11 month old LO. My LO had her dinner there but she’s teething so didn’t finish her dinner, which caused my mother in law to basically go on and on. She kept saying omg why hasn’t she finished, she hasn’t eaten anything, which I just ignored because sometimes babies don’t finish every single thing and I know she’s teething. But eventually she made a comment which really upset me, she said ‘oh she doesn’t eat, that’s why she’s the size of a 6 month old’ - which firstly, she isn’t- she’s normal Weight for her age range. But it was quite upsetting to hear. If I didn’t have my daughter weighed last month, as a first time mum I’d be really stressed. This made me think of all those times she’s commented on my daughter’s weight and stressed me out, which has resulted in me having monthly weigh ins for her. When I was breastfeeding, she’d make comments about my supply and how my milk didn’t have much value, that’s why my daughter wasn’t gaining weight. But the thing is, my daughter has always consistently gained weight, so I’m not sure why she’s made this horrible comments- I’m assuming it’s to stress me out and make me feel rubbish. She also made a comment that I should help around HER house, while carrying my daughter?? My bigger problem is now, I’ll be back to work soon and my daughter will be with her, I really don’t want her to look after my little one!! But my own mum passed away, so I don’t have child care support. I don’t want to leave her because of these comments, but secondly I feel she’ll have power over me. I feel stuck. Because I’m already working part time, I can’t reduce my hours anymore - we can’t financially afford it. Just feel so hopeless and genuinely sad.

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That generation is so obsessed with weight and appearance 😡 tell her to respect the boundaries you set, she will give your kid a negative body image otherwise

This is so sad to hear ☹️ I don’t have any advice as such but just wanted to say I’m sorry you’ve had to experience that, it’s so unfair and so inconsiderate of your MIL. As if us mums don’t have enough to worry about already… 🫠 those kinds of comments and mindset are so unnecessary and unhelpful. Is it something you’ve been able to talk to your partner about? Just wondering if they could help to reeducate your MIL or at least improve her attitude. Sending you lots of love 🧡

If these are episodic remarks then perhaps ask your Husband to speak to his Mum. Perhaps she can try to be less direct and more considerate. It’s also true that most Mums (including me) are overly sensitive. It would be very odd if she actually made these comments with an intention to upset you. She probably meant well but didn’t express it in the right way. If it’s persistent, then nursery may be a better option.

Start looking for childcare, it will be better for your piece of mind knowing she’s looked after by a trained professional instead of someone who might force feed her

If you're in the UK, can you make use of the 15/30 hours funded childcare?

She sounds toxic to me. She knows your mum has passed so she could be more supportive to you, instead she is abrasive and mean! Also seems a bit controlling as she knows you have no choice with the childcare, I’m not keen and so sorry you are dealing with this x

11 months old don't care for food much.. maybe she had dreams of a plump baby or those white baby on gerber company brand cereal.. if ur baby is tiny and petite and ur tiny and husband is short and thin.. then u get a small bone baby, or like Asian looking from Vietnam.. or thailand... they got petite little skinny wrist and ankle fragile little baby models.... or lean like golum from lord of rings with skinny arms and legs. Any way. If she short tell her ur son short. If she a giant 5 ft 8in or 6ft then ok but if mother in law isn't the next super model..... what was her son and daughter, ? I would be concerned too... she going try stiff baby with as food even if baby isn't hungry.. like as long as she gaining enough.. show this woman some baby pics... of the world, no idea if she white or black or what colour but I think she has a vision in her head or maybe she grew up poor or starving..... lot cultures want ppl to eat and eat... maybe ethnic thing

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