Resources on how to be a better wife?
Show your support
He's definitely the problem 🚩🚩 he needs to man up, actually be a partner, and take care of his wife/family.
@Katie thank you for the validation- that honestly feels so amazing. I know I can be selfish and stubborn and need to be a better partner, my sole focus is keeping our children alive. I can take responsibility for the damage I’ve done to our relationship that led up to this, unfortunately he can’t. And the reality is he won’t budge(therapy is out of the question) so it’s up to me to fix this for my kids. I just don’t have the knowledge or training to be better for him, if that makes sense?
@Annika thank you for saying that! He is a good partner and dad for the most part, he just doesn’t recognize the needs I have or at least refuses to deal with them. I tell him things he says or does hurt me and somehow it turns into an argument about how I caused him to treat me that way, or that he’s not one of my girlfriends and masculine men aren’t sensitive like that and in the end I find myself apologizing, which is very twisted.
Masculine men CAN become sensitive. He sounds delusional lol.
We’re allowed to be selfish sometimes. If we didn’t take care of ourselves, that makes it harder for us to take care of our loved ones. Maybe you could get therapy yourself. I have found it helpful.
He's not a good partner if he doesn't recognize or care to recognize your needs. Point blank. He sounds like a narcissist.
Did he give you a reason why he thinks that?
I agree he needs to be more careful with his words and he needs to treat you more gently as you are postpartum but let’s not jump to conclusions and say that he’s abusing her, or that he’s a narcissist . ???🤨😩😭
We all have issues with our partners and it’s okay to sometimes think of them as selfish, or childish, etc.. These are all workable problems that have solutions. I would communicate with him as to why he feels this way and go from there.
@Lyss It’s common to say things you don’t mean in the heat of an argument or disagreement. We all do it. & I’m guilty of that myself. But to say he’s a narcissist because he feels a certain way is a bit much.
@Katie I think the same. But also I compare every man to my father, who is very in touch. I’m looking into therapy for myself. Thanks for your advice 💕
@Annika I think he has some characteristics that are narcissistic but he’s really a good guy overall, just really strong personality.
@Lyss thank you for this.
Do you have a close relationship with your father? If so, I suggest you marry a man just like him. And please try the app BetterHelp. It’s a therapy app that works with you on what you can financially afford. It has been incredibly helpful.
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
@Ariyana see I can justify a lot of his behavior this way as well. I know he sees arguments as war and can’t find a productive solution quickly but the strong opinions are harsh to hear. The part that hurts the most is his lack of understanding during PP and constantly telling me our relationship is not fixable. I don’t know where to even begin with reparations if every idea is rejected. It’s frustrating but I still feel like this is worthwhile
Unfortunately, couples fight way more when kids are involved. I don’t really know what it is, but sometimes it’s the different parenting styles, which could have been discussed before having kids. Also, he needs to be more understanding of PP. is his mom an active member of his life? Can she better advocate it to him?
@Katie I am really close with my parents and thank you for the recommendation- I signed up for therapy and have found some postpartum resources through my local hospital….Unfortunately my partner isn’t fully supportive but it’s necessary. His mother, very lovely person, is the ultimate boomer-I say this with admiration- but she’s definitely like the “ I popped out 5 kids and went back to work the same day” type of lady, so not very understanding of mental health.
He needs to be a better person and teach himself about postpartum, hor.onal imbalance, breastfeeding and about emphaty!. You're going through a lot, hugs momma. But if anything man want praise and validation for any little task they complete. If he changes a diaper or holds baby for hours say thank you love* and if you yelled for any reason say, sorry i know I shouldn't done this or that.
@Yessi Naomi this is wonderful advice. I have not been very appreciative of what he does for our family. I will try this.
I need to do that too, more persistently. My hubs and I have our 1st therapy today after having my 3rd Baby 👶
The love went to the kids, as it should. Let me guess he doesn't help with them either or around the house
@Janae totally true- the kids are top priority and they can be extremely draining, which I think is his biggest issue. His approach to parenting is more hands off than mine ( I think that’s mostly from cultural differences) but he is a really great father and helps where he can so no complaints there. Our children are both really young and need me more than him right now so it’s hard for him to know when to step in and take the initiative, which I don’t blame him for.
Maybe HE should try harder to be a better husband. You are not the problem & I’m sorry he has made you feel that way.