Feeling Ashmed

I sent message my response was hella long . I’m down to chat tho

Momma don’t put so much weight on yourself. I feel the same when I see other moms on social media with their life “together” but then I remember that that’s all fake and people usually only share the good to social media. As long as your baby is happy, healthy, and taken care of, you accomplished so much every single day. They won’t remember a dirty house or the laundry not being done, they will remember how you played with them for hours, how you rocked them to sleep and comforted them when they were sad. They will remember your love, not the mess. My SIL was solo parenting while her husband was deployed and she drove herself crazy trying to figure out how to do everything by herself, and eventually she just stopped and she just focused on her baby and it helped her mental health a lot and once that had improved she found ways to manage the little things, like doing chores once baby went to bed for the night, or letting the baby watch a tv show while she did laundry. It’ll be okay ❤️

Aww hon, you are doing amazingly because your job is to bring up a healthy thriving baby and you’re doing exactly that. And parenting isn’t easy. Babies are so hard. They just cry sometimes, for no reason. How frustrating and insane is that? And sometimes cleaning is just impossible! Those people who are doing amazingly have sh*t happening in the background too. Family might need to support them so they stay sane. Or they are pushing their health and wellbeing to the limit so they can clean the house. Comparison is the thief of joy. You only have these moments with baby once so screw cleaning & enjoy this. And if the crying is concerning you talk to a doctor or a loved one because PPD can hit as late as 1yr ❤️

The best thing I did post partum was start blocking mom accounts on social media. No one has their shit together 🩷 I’ve also given up on keeping the house clean lol I used to spend hours mopping and cleaning every corner of my house and it just isn’t realist when we’re trying to keep a little human alive 🩷 Give yourself grace mama. This motherhood thing is HARD. I also started therapy again and honestly it helped me snap out of my post partum thoughts. Post partum is really hard. You got this, please don’t stop reaching out to people 🩷

All those social media moms, it's fake. It's cherry-picked moments. Motherhood is hard, even with help. You are doing the absolute best you can, and that is ALL that your child needs. What you've said reminds me very much of myself, and it turned out I was struggling with postpartum depression. If it's an option for you, I recommend you see if there's someone you can speak to about it, whether it's professional or peer support programs. Motherhood is hard, even if you think you were prepared, especially because our hormones are also out of wack from pregnancy and postpartum.

It has taken me months to accept that most nights I will go to bed with dishes in the sink and laundry on the couch. My mindset right now is to prioritize mine and my babies health and happiness. Start celebrating the wins, however small they might be! Being a mom is a BIG job, and it’s not always easy. I’m seeing a therapist and it’s really helped! Might be worth considering. 💕

My baby is 19 months and I am JUST getting the rhyme down. 6 months pp is so early, give yourself grace. A dry erase written calendar on the fridge works for me. Focus on one thing to get down at a time. It also helps if you have grandparents, family, friends to help. I couldn’t do it without them 💛

Go speak to a therapist, you need to fully unpack your life in order to move forward

None of us have it together babe, we're winging it all the way. Working parents are winging it too. We don't see other people's hard days because we have those behind closed doors. You're doing the best you can and honestly probably so much better than you think.

1 year old next week and I feel the same. No rhythm to my life, just living nap to nap. My son contact naps so I can't even get anything done whilst he's sleeping. I try to get some jobs done but usually I only manage to hoover or do the dishwasher. He's at an age where he is either super clingy or getting about so I have to follow him everywhere or he'll hurt himself

Girl, we're all struggling. 6 months postpartum is super unrealistic to have everything set. They are still changing so often at that stage that it's hard to get the schedule down. You think you have a schedule, and you go out for something, but your baby falls asleep in the car, but it's not nap time, so now their schedule has changed again AND you missed the nap time so you're tired, too. Nothing else is getting done that day lol If you're breastfeeding, then forget it. You're at the mercy of however long they want to feed. It's wild. I had a lot of help, and I was always overwhelmed.

@Alexandra what kind of shit comment is that 😂 the person posting this is clearly struggling. I truly hope post partum is better for you since I see you haven’t had your first but please understand post partum is a monster for a lot of us and what this mama needs is compassion not someone saying it shouldn’t be hard.

@Alexandra girl, you have no idea. According to your profile you haven't even had your kid yet. Zero idea. Sit down. Op, no one has it together, nothing to be ashamed of. It does sound like you would benefit from talking to a therapist and get some counter balancing to the negativity people are throwing your way, and to check for some potential post partum depression. But you're not doing anything wrong, this is normal. Prioritize cleaning over tidying as you can, make sure you don't have unsanitary surroundings that could affect your health, and the rest can wait. Your kid won't remember an untidy house, they'll remember love.

I felt exactly the same way as you do and still feel this way after almost 15 months of having my little one. I work at a nursery and have done for years so it's completly shocked me how shit I am at getting stuff done with the baby around. Like literally if she's somewhere else for even a few hours I get soooo much more done and that's the only way I've been managing to do it. I've literally been using my holiday days to send my little one to daycare while I spend the day catching up on everything because otherwise I feel like I'm drowning in it all. Also being at home really doesn't help, try to go outside more, even if it's to just go sit at a park with a drink because seeing everything that needs doing makes you feel so much worse and so overwhelmed and at least you know while you're out, everything is on pause and nothing's getting worse. I try to get out at least once a day now, it really makes a difference to mine and my baby's mood

Thank you to everyone who commented and messaged me personally. It really meant a lot. I have a therapist and starting some birth control to help with some regulation. (I was struggling with my hormones long before my baby). You guys are awesome ❤️