Has anyone grown up with a mother that you felt was oblivious to things you were going threw emotionally?

I recommend all woman going through these emotions, and becoming mothers ourselves to read “mother hunger” It might help your journey 🫶🏼

Yeah but my mom was also going through a lot and she was just trying to survive.

Checked in on my life more. I didn’t get the “how was school today?” And usually she was on the phone when I wanted to talk. Or if I cried I got yelled at or questioned up and down about what is wrong and if I said I was fine I was lying. I felt I had no actual peace. My mom wanted to be my best friend which is what she felt more as. I love her but she had a lot she needed to work on from her own trauma.

My mom was a narcissist so yeah her emotions were much more important and dire than my own. Hell if I got physical hurt she didn’t care cuz again she is more important… yeah… I’m glad she’s dead… ☺️

Through* 😅 wow seems like a lot of ppl have felt like this would be nice if we can find ways to not do the same to our children 🥹

84% of us! Wow!

I literally told my mom I wanted to off myself and she said “we should talk about that” and never brought it up again lol

@Tessa I told my mom that too (I had thoughts of offing myself because of severe anxiety) and that I wanted to go to a hospital to get the help I need (15 at the time) and she made it about herself 🫠 had a whole meltdown saying how could I feel that way or do that to her. It was insane. I felt so bad so I just never brought it up again.

@Tessa it made me uncomfy because of how she acted so I couldn’t help but nervous laugh and she said “how can you not care and laugh” it made me apologize for the things I FELT. I will never shame my daughter for having those thoughts I would get her the help she needed.

@Tessa wow that’s horrible

@🩷 Patience 🩷 that is such a classic narcissistic parent thing I’m sorry! 🫶🏻

@Tessa im sorry she wasn’t there for you when you tried to communicate your feelings! I hope you have a safe place to go to now! 🫶🏻

My mum had good intentions and never would deliberately hurt or say anything mean. However, gave very little emotional support and never seemed to understand it or respond in a helpful way. She will say really rude or unhelpful things but not realise how she is coming across. Often makes it about herself or talks about her own problems. Practical or financial support is fantastic. Emotional support she can’t do it. I remember arguing with her as a kid and the next day gave me money to say sorry as opposed to talking about it. A few years ago I spoke to her about my dog being at the vet and feeling stressed and she offered to pay but couldn’t talk about how I am or offer emotional support. I’ve accepted it now and don’t expect it. My sisters, friends and partner are much more helpful.

My mom had no idea I used to self harm & I refused to tell her because I would afraid she would say something along the lines of “if you’re gonna do it, then why shouldn’t I?” Etc Also, she was oblivious to the fact that my brother was sexually abusing me. It was weird that she didn’t find it weird that I was still wetting the bed as a preteen or that my grades were awful.

Definitely not intentionally I don’t think. Just an overworked mum with a long commute and a stressful job in healthcare, 3 kids with lots of extra curricular activities including a dancing daughter (not me) with potential and a husband who played golf and travelled for work a fair bit. She eventually saw me and intervened with my ED as a teen which was a turning point but then our family imploded not long after anyway. Whilst I don’t judge her for back then, she definitely needs to go to therapy now!

@🩷 Patience 🩷 I’m so sorry that happened! It just makes you feel so much worse because the one person you’re told will love you and support you unconditionally just can’t. I feel like it’s one of those things that I’m glad I experienced it so my kids don’t have to. I fully feel like those things we had to struggle through will make us better moms for them

I don’t think my mom did it intentionally either. She just seemed to disregard me a lot because she thought what I was feeling or experiencing was unimportant because I was just a kid. Like if I had a new boyfriend she didn’t take interest because in her eyes i wasn’t going to marry him anyway. Funny enough I actually married my boyfriend I started dating in junior year and she was shocked.

@Lyss a lot of things changed since then luckily. She was struggling with a lot at the time that I didn’t realise. She needed to help herself to help me but she just didn’t know how