Does anyone feel like this

I recently had a beautiful baby and overall couldn't be so over joyed and feeling better mentally than I was pregnant struggling and isolated than ever. But it isn't about post partum or struggling with raising two children under 1. It is more of something different and I end up nearly about to cry or i sometimes get emotional. Here is the story of why I am starting to be like this.. So I have always been quite a selfless person. I'm always happy to support anybody but myself amd I always been a loyal supportive person. Putting others before me a lot amd over time I am beginning to see that maybe I never get to be selfish because I'm scared to. But overall I always like being there for friends or anybody who's struggling though. Until back in December my close ex work colleague that I use to wirk woth had started trying to catch up with me and that point I was pregnant and again lonely I was so happy to be in touch with him as I was alone a lot. We at that point were on call talking making plans to meet up have a good catch up etc etc until he suddenly went and explained he was not gonna be in touch for a while due to something happening in his family and he was struggling mentally and sadly he had to make a decision that he felt was right on him and me that he couldn't message and needed to go through this alone as he felt like this was the right thing to do. So I completely understood thought that was fair enough. Told him that I was there waiting and respected that. I still did and until December til now after having a baby. I had him message me last night and I wasn't expecting him to message and all my life I have been left and growing uo with inconsistent people you get use to it. So I didn't expect much at all but I guess it court me off guard and since last night I keep hearing this little voice in my head saying "why isn't anyone there for you !" At times today I sort of been tearing up crying alone when my partner wasn't in the room or I try to hold my sadness away and try not to cry or tear up. I don't know why I'm feeling so emotional like a little girl crying for comfort of wanting maybe for once for someone to reach out to me and be there for me instead of it being me all the time. Who knows it could be just the fact of a lot but I don't know if anyone going through the emotions too 😕