When to start leaving baby with partners parents.
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My LO has just turned one and no one has watched her except my mum and it ended up only being for 5 mins as she was taking a nap when I left. You have to feel confident that the person watching your child will respect your wishes. If you’re not happy leaving baby with them then don’t, it’s your baby 🤷🏻♀️
If your partner is going to be there I don’t see the issue. It’s his baby too.
@N 💞 she says how the partner doesn’t enforce boundaries to keep the peace, so she doesn’t want them going without her because she knows the in laws will cross boundaries thinking it’s ok because she isn’t there
@Liv well then that’s a conversation she needs to be having with her partner. Not withholding visits whenever she cannot be there. That’s not sustainable throughout life.
You are not in the wrong. Trust your gut! My BDs mom frequent bars a lot and she thinks it's okay for babies and kids to be in bars she goes to bc she knows everyone there. She tends to have different partners frequently too. I refuse for my son to be alone in her care only bc her lifestyle isn't fit to care for children. It's caused so much drama bc my BD doesn't see it as an issue and tends to live in denial. You'll feel guilt. It doesn't go away unfortunately. You'll burn bridges. In the end, it's your responsibility to keep your child safe.
@N 💞 yes but that change isn’t going to happen in a snap so she wouldn’t be able to send her husband with the baby and not have boundaries crossed this time around anyways. It starts with him enforcing them in front of her and standing by her. She can’t just be like “only if you enforce the boundaries” and expect that change to happen immediately
@Liv you have your opinion, I have mine, which is that this is ridiculously controlling. Imagine the shoe was on the other foot and it was the husband ‘not allowing’ the wife to take her own baby around HER family without him being there - there would be uproar, she’d be told to leave him because he’s controlling etc etc etc. I’m not sure why you’re even tagging me in comments when you’ve not actually given your opinion to OP? Maybe focus on that instead?
@N 💞 ohhhh you’re a boy mom. Checks out now. I see you’re going to be the boundary crossing MIL in the future and then wonder why your DILs hate you
@Liv 🤣🤣🤣 get a life.
@N 💞 Everyone has different circumstances...I have a MIL who is an alcoholic and has no respect for boundaries...She likes to guilt trip my husband a lot, calls him EVERY SINGLE DAY, complains about not being able to babysit/spend more time, etc. (We visit every Sunday and live only 10 minutes away.) My husband is unfortunately a mama's boy and his mother has him wrapped around her finger. My husband is also oblivious to things so I would not feel confident for him to set boundaries with her when I am not present. My MIL would definitely take advantage of that. So if I am unable to go, I am definitely not allowing my husband to take my daughter over there alone. My daughter's safety comes first. You may find it as controlling but I see it as protecting her.
@Marissa good for you 👍🏼 As I said, I am entitled to my own opinion - and you are entitled to yours. Nobody needs to tag me in a comment just to explain their point. I really don’t care.
@N 💞 It's also okay to expand your worldview and hear other people's stories ♡
My son doesn’t know my husband’s family. Only his grandmother so it would be my son’s great grandmother. I don’t even trust leaving my son with my husband so I get it. My sister is my only person I fully trust to leave my son with
I have only left my first son with my partners mother once, and he cried the whole time. She doesn’t make any effort to see them so I don’t think it’s fair they stay with her. You’re totally within your right to stand your ground as it is your child