yelling

I felt like that when I first had my son and tbh sometimes I can still lose my shit if I’m overstimulated. Your not a shit mom, your tired and a babies cry can be like torture x

Make sure you always have earplugs on hand or earphones to play music or meditations. It's normal to get overstimulated and even more difficult when you don't have proper support, however you need to set yourself up for success. Search for parenting programs online. There are free ones that will cover emotional dysregulation and coping strategies, for you as a parent. Reach out and ask for help from friends. If you don't have any, join playgroups and make some. You need people to lean on. If you feel like you may be becoming depressed because of your situation, please talk to your doctor and they will guide you from there. I feel like I could have written your post myself, a year ago. Unfortunately, no one is coming to save you, you need to make the changes yourself. I promise you can do it and become the mother your child deserves.

thank you guys really appreciate this knowing i’m not the only one, me & my baby are really close and mostly have the ups but when it comes to the down part of things i feel really terrible afterwards & always reflect back on how i should’ve handled it but sometimes it just gets to you. it sucks to be that way especially because there babies & literally need us to guide them but sometimes the mothers need guiding to, im really greatful to be a mum but when that ugly part gets me i feel like the worse person in the world, after todays meltdown towards him i really will be trying to find solutions on how to handle the situation before it gets ugly x

I'm sorry, Mama. It's pretty hard, actually. If it's too much, put bubs down in a safe place and walk away for 15 minutes. As long as you've tried everything, they'll be okay for that brief time. Its hard, especially when you're tired. We understand you

Headphones are live changing. My babies cries set my brain on fire, all I want to do is help fix it and when I’ve tried everything I’m just confused and distraught along side with baby lol but when my son hit 14 months old I remembered I owned headphones and it was so immensely helpful to just put on music or like a YouTube video of something I wanted to hear or focus on outside of baby noises

The mothers of today are in a uniquely difficult spot because all you hear is gentle parenting expectations, and yet most of us weren’t raised that way and may not know how to parent differently than the way that we were raised. The expectations of today are unrealistic. They are good goals to work towards but you are human and you will get mad sometimes and being an exhausted single mom is crazy. Don’t give up on yourself or the baby. The fact that you’re trying to be better already tells me that you’re a good mom. Most of all the baby needs you, your love, a consistency. As much as the baby is learning how to exist in this world, we are learning how to be mothers. You will absolutely get better at it. And IMO, things really do get easier with time. Hang in there!

Oh hon, my heart reaches out to you. You’re not a shit mom. We see you, we hear you, we all have been there before. We all have lost our cool on our babies at some point. I’ve had the same challenges as well, literally last week my baby was so overtired and fighting her nap I screamed cause I had tried all that I could in the moment to try to soothe her plus I had no sleep the night before. That’s when I placed her safely in her crib and ran out of her room into my bathroom and cried and cried and gave myself at least 5-10 mins to calm my own self when I came back in her room she was safe and fine. She actually ended up asleep. I felt so bad for screaming in that moment, I stood over her crib and cried apologizing over and over and over. I learned in therapy it’s okay to lose it, and if the baby is safe walk away then later after your calm go to your baby and repair it that’s all that matters. You are NOT a shit mom. You’re trying your best, you’re strong, and I bet you’re a great mom

I'm so sorry you're struggling lovely! You're not a bad person, but it does sound like you're not coping well. I'm not a medical professional, but I did have bad PPD and PPA, and your feelings seem very familiar to mine. If you have time and energy, I'd recommend looking at getting some medical help. If you have any family or friends that you can lean on even a little, that may take a little pressure off. I hope you feel better soon, feel free to message if you ever need to chat! Xxx