Visiting Baby

Following as I feel the exact same, we have discussed waiting a week before visitors but I just don’t know

My partner had his kids over after a day being home from the hospital!! It was very overwhelming as I didn’t get a chance to settle down and have time to bond with our son as just us. Do what makes you happy and comfortable. They did hold the baby for a little bit but they wasn’t allowed to kiss or touch him as much even now as he’s only 4 weeks and still at high risk. After a week we had a couple of people over for a few hours. Same rule’s was said to them. A hold to take pictures etc but no kissing or touching his face and made sure they washed their hands etc. but I’ve still not visited everyone yet as I don’t want to go overboard and I still get. A-bit overwhelming! I hope this helps!

I’ve told people I want a few weeks to settle and only immediate family will be visiting first :) and I don’t want anyone to come unannounced ideally. People can stay home if they are unwell, also wash hands and no kissing/ fingers in mouth, if I ask for my baby back, then my baby will be back in my arms. I’ve had a pretty bad pregnancy and had/have a lot of problems so I just want to make sure everything goes well for the first few months

I’d say just wait and see how you feel to be honest! With our first, I was adamant while I was pregnant (and my husband agreed with whatever I wanted basically) that I didn’t want anyone to come round for the first few days. After a failed induction and traumatic emergency section, I just wanted to see my own mum 😅 my mum and dad came to the hospital the day my daughter was born, as did my mother in law. We then spent 3 more days in hospital mostly alone (my MIL visited once more, and my SIL/BIL for about an hour or two each). It was the complete opposite of what I thought I wanted, but having been quite ill and spending a fair few days in hospital, we appreciated the company! This time round we’ll hopefully be home in 24 hours after my section on Weds so have said nobody until this weekend (my MIL will be coming before though as she’ll be bringing my toddler home). Other than that, we just said wash hands before holding and no kissing, that’s it really. Our family are generally…

Good and never outstayed their welcome, and always came round and helped with any chores/cooking/tended to themselves aka made their own drinks etc so we didn’t have to/brought food with them.

@Bec How did it go with your eldest? I’m so paranoid about the bugs from the nursery that my toddler will bring…

I’m still annoyed the inlaws visited without calling or messaging before hand the day after we came home from having an emergency C-section. I had my boobs out pumping as we weren’t expecting anyone. This time I’m making it clear any uninvited guests won’t be let in the house

My rules are as follow- I got my husband to tell everyone the rules so that I felt more supported and less “silly”, however I know we are within our rightful choices to create whatever rules we see fit… Baby rules: Clean clothes No touching his face/skin No kissing No perfumes Tie hair back If he cries he comes back to mum hold within the muslin wrap

I am really feeling the pressure about visitors and struggling with this. Mainly in the sense that I want privacy to recover and just be able to feel alone in my PJs or boobs out. I don't want people coming and just like... looking at us ... as if we were goldfish or something. I will feel pressured to host or make welcome etc etc. Ideally I just want it to be my mam and dad, my MIL (not necessarily her partner, or my FIL and his partner).. and that's at a stretch! My brother is visiting my parents over Easter hols with his bf and I'm feeling pressured they will have to visit as will only be in the area for x amount of days etc etc. I also want time before settling back into our weekend arrangements with my 16 Yr old step son, again while I adjust so I don't feel pressured to care for others. I just want to focus on me and baby. For me it's not worrying about contact with baby, it's more I want space and time to heal and feel whatever I will without the overwhelm. I'm not gonna feel up to hosting at all...

I am really worried and stressed that my family aren't taking this seriously 🙃 ultimately its adding emotions right now that I really don't need.. I have very bad anxiety and this is the kind of thing I hyperfocus on when worried about bigger things in general (you know like something huge such as giving birth) 😅

Thanks all for your comments! I'm really struggling with the concept of people coming to visit in the first few days because I want to protect our newborn bubble as much as possible, being our first time, however it's not just our first time but it'll be the first grandchild and nephew too! So hard to know what I'll be comfortable with!

@Julia as a teeny baby, our daughter never really got ill to be honest. She got a cold at around 3 months but that’s it! This time round, I’m sure baby no2 will as our toddler also attends nursery so I feel it’s just inevitable! We’re planning on being as careful as possible, however don’t want to have to keep them too separate at all as I don’t want it to potentially ruin a bond from my toddler’s point of view. We’re just gonna strip her of nursery clothes when she gets home, make sure we treat any sniffles she gets as well as we can and hope and pray that the baby doesn’t catch them 🤦🏼‍♀️🥲

I've said Grandparents can come in the first two weeks and then friends and extended family I'm waiting for 4 weeks once my husband goes back to work so we have some time as a family

We’re planning most of what people have said before! Parents in the hospital depending how long we are in (first grandchild!) and then immediate family only for the first week or 2. Hands to be washed, no perfume, no kissing on the face, and to stay away if unwell. My husband has also given himself the role of gate keeper 😅 and this is in the best case scenario, wouldn’t hesitate in restricting that further if there are complications or I’m feeling unwell. We got rid of our guest bed as that room has now become a nursery, so a good reason for no one to stay over!

I’ve just told all my close family that I will let them know when they can visit depending on how the birth goes. You can’t know how you will be feeling afterwards, might be up for visitors quite soon, but might need more time to recover. With my first, I had an easy birth and felt ready for visitors within a week or so, but I struggled a lot with breastfeeding, so only wanted my close family who I was comfortable with my feeding struggles in front of them

Plus definitely get your visitors to help out when they come - they should be the ones making the cups of tea, bringing snacks etc. don’t feel like you have to be a “host”!

with my first it was during covid so only partner could come see us in hospital and then after we didn’t have any visitors for the first two weeks, but we were living with his parents so annoyingly didn’t get to enjoy baby on our own. we moved out but now we’re back with his parents again whilst our renovation is being done and i’m praying it’s livable by mid may as baby is due end of may and i’m desperate to not be here when baby 2 comes😂