TW: discusses baby loss & managing emotions

I’m 2 days away from the point where we lost our little girl last year. It feels so surreal because when I was pregnant with her. I didn’t ever allow myself to think of myself as pregnant, I had such huge walls up because essentially we knew it wasn’t going to work out due to the level of constant complications. I feel so pregnant this time, it makes me sad that I never allowed myself to give her all the love she deserved because I was so afraid. And now with this baby coming along, and because I was on bed rest for 8 weeks with Eden, no one really saw me as pregnant and I’m worried she’s going to be forgotten. But when I bring her up, people are often uncomfortable and try to just talk about how well things are going this time. It’s hard to keep her memory alive without looking like I’m almost dwelling on her loss.