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I definitely think there are disparate attitudes towards children here in the UK versus Europe in my experience. I think a large factor with the declining birth rate will be the current cost of living, many people my age (early 30s) are struggling to even get on the housing ladder or afford rent and bill increases, let alone adding a child into the mix. In addition, I've seen many people arguing that a lot of the older generation, our parents, do not want to be the "village" that they had when they were raising children (definitely my experience on one side of my family). I think it's quite a complex issue that can't be boiled down to one simple problem.
I think the cost of living increases have really impacted the way we treat eachother. I feel like everyone is just struggling to get by and in turn are a lot less tolerant of each other and overall pretty miserable/moody. I always remember during the first few weeks of Covid there was such a strong sense of community and people wanted to help out and be there for each other. But now it couldn't be any further from the truth. It feels like people are constantly on the edge and the slightest annoyances (babies/children) just seem to completely wind people up. There's just no patience or compassion in a lot of people anymore. It's really sad.
@Tara definitely agree that it's a complex problem! And about the "village". My mum is exactly the same - she had so much help from my grandma when me and my siblings were young. And I mean SO much. I only realised after becoming a parent. My grandma would have us all the time. My mum and dad would go away on holidays/staycations etc. But she doesn't want to offer that same assistance, not even a degree of it. And that is actually my main reason for being reluctant to have a second child, as my husband and I have zero support.
It's sad isn't it? I also used to see my grandparents very often while my parents went on holidays etc. My mother has met my daughter 3 times... She's retired as well so it's not like she's working! We know it'll be tough having a second child with little support locally, but both me and my husband want to, we will make it work somehow! My dad and that side of the fam are fantastic with my daughter but geography separates us, so we don't see each other as often as I'd like. Complete solidarity with zero support, it's really tough.
It really is! I used to spend so much time with my grandmother as a kid and have such a great relationship with her, and I realise my mum won't have that at all with my son. And same with my mum, she's also retired and has plenty of free time and a very good private pension/state pension...she just chooses to do anything but spend time with us. I'm glad it's not put you off having a second though! At this moment in time I really can't imagine having a second with no extra help, but maybe in the future I will change my mind, when my son is a bit older.
Interesting article, there seems to be pro's & cons to both; having a lower population & having more babies. I've read the comments on this post & I can completely relate! I spent a lot of my childhood with my grandparents. Yet, my parents see their grandkids once a week & even less if they decide to go on holiday or become poorly {which is fair enough}. I had a lovely childhood growing up with all of my cousins {aunts/uncles}. My daughters don't have any at all, which makes me feel quite sad that I'm possibly the last generation in my family to have that togetherness. Point is, both of my parents had a village & I don't. Explaining that to them & they don't get that. Please don't get me wrong, I appreciate my parents help & support when I do get it. Just having my first child & then enduring lockdown, it really hit home that it was just my husband & I doing this on our own. As since then, 9/10 times we've been the only team members.
https://inews.co.uk/opinion/fewer-babies-change-everything-way-live-3608196?srsltid=AfmBOop0TSGlMjYnN-KvK3COrxqzo9oVTZtvtbjhzQNt0dJBjXU6jynK