Feeling like a bad partner
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I am in the same boat! We only had sex twice since the birth. There seem to be excuses that the baby isn't sleeping which isn't even true now. The baby sleeps through the nights now but we still are in a loop. I keep trying to talk about it but he says it will change but he doesn't do anything toward it. I am quite angry as this only means he must be doing it himself when I am literally home waiting.. how can he not want me. Our baby isn't very clingy and he is definitely low maintenance so we will have to work through it somehow. Keeping fingers crossed for you!
Awww your partner and you are trying and doing your best, there will always be areas where things will be slower to find a new norm. And its defo normal to miss the passed but with new baby, u might be finding a new way to be with ur partner and that u dont need the same spark as before but something different Have you thought about what intimacy means to you and your partner? Some good pods and posts on peanut highlight for some ppl intimacy means sex and sparks are how you can have that spontaneously However you can have loads of forms of intimacy whether its a peck on the cheek, a cuddle or deep meaningful conversation or simple appreciation for what the other does, or a playful checking out or compliment…. Sometimes not having the time to talk to each other then leads to lack of intimacy as you say, like room mates but then once ur out of the newborn trenches and baby sleeps better, u might find the communication flowss again and the spark comes back,but it does take effort
I promise this won’t last forever, it’s just really really hard with a new baby, it changes the dynamics of all aspects of your life. When you can, try steal an hour here & there, go for coffee or to dinner, have a date night or day. If someone offers to have you little one, take it and run 😅 I would say it gets easier to rekindle your relationship once you put little one to bed in their own room and get your evenings back a bit. Also, as they get older and can entertain themselves a little bit, you can do more without being their only source of entertainment. It’s hard at the start and really normal to miss your life & relationship pre baby but it’s only temporary, you’ll find a new normal xx
My partner and I weren’t intimate for about a year after having our first, I had stitches and struggled. But here we are 4 years later with another baby, and this time we’ve managed to be intimate again pretty much straight away because baby is so good and I didn’t have stitches this time. To be fair it sounds like you’ve got yourself not only an amazing partner but an amazing dad for your little girl! I can tell as I also have that. I’m sure you’ll both be absolutely fine, I know it’s hard but it’s not forever xx