How to get dad to establish a routine with the baby, so the baby knows she can calm down to even sleep with daddy??... is very exhausting,just me being that person.
Get dad actively involved with the routine. It takes time. If he hasn't been doing it at all, then it will be a slow process, but have him do things like brush teeth or read to her or put her pyjamas on, make him a part of it. Talk to her about daddy being part of bedtime, and daddy reading stories, daddy putting her to sleep; she's old enough to comprehend, even if she doesn't answer. You could even have him there while putting her to sleep if it's not too distracting. After he's done this for awhile have him actually try putting her down alone. Just be firm and consistent that tonight is daddy's night or mommy's night to put her to sleep.
Get dad actively involved with the routine. It takes time. If he hasn't been doing it at all, then it will be a slow process, but have him do things like brush teeth or read to her or put her pyjamas on, make him a part of it. Talk to her about daddy being part of bedtime, and daddy reading stories, daddy putting her to sleep; she's old enough to comprehend, even if she doesn't answer. You could even have him there while putting her to sleep if it's not too distracting. After he's done this for awhile have him actually try putting her down alone. Just be firm and consistent that tonight is daddy's night or mommy's night to put her to sleep.