Send help and sleep

Sleep when she sleeps during the day! If she’s napping in her Moses basket then take that time to sleep! In the beginning we would do sort of shifts: so I’d go to sleep 9-11pm then he’d go to bed 11-5am then I’d get 5-7am before my husband would go to work - I was also breastfeeding and he would cluster all night or not go into his next to me so I’d hold him all night. It’s really hard in the start but does get better!

Thank you so much for replying. I am totally thinking that I'm failing already.... I am neurodivergent so structure, order and routine is how I feel safe. Baby arrives.... and boom - that safety structure is blown apart

Newborns don't know night from day for about a month. It's tough at the beginning. But even now, my 1yr old is up 😆 woke at 3:30 and still awake and it's 5am #welcome to parenthood

I’m 5 days and oh my the newborn trenches. Daytime is absolutely fine, baby boy sleeps for 3 hours, wakes to be fed and changed and then back down. I’ve currently been up and down since 2am with him breastfeeding, settling, the minute I put him in next to me wide awake. He’s just been awake for an hour with no signs of sleep. Finally, swaddled and flat out but I’ll be up with my daughter in an hour and a half for nursery🤦🏼‍♀️ feel like I’m fighting a loosing battle xx

6 days pp here, and my little one is exactly the same! I'm in the no sleep club also 😭😅

Is she in a next to me at night? I found my baby wouldn't settle until I put her in the moses basket next to my bed as it was too big and she liked feeling snug. The heartbeat teddies help too! My little girl was the same everytime I laid her flat or put her off me she would kick off but be ok in the day. I must admit for the first week I propped myself in my bed so I didn't roll and she was on my chest (dangerous, don't reccomend) but it literally was the only way she would settle then someone told me to put the moses basket in the next to me whilst little so I didd and it worked for us. I'm.aboit to have my 2nd baby so we will see if she's a better sleeper then her sister lol x

@Niamh-Grace I might put her in her swaddle bag thing after the next feed and see what happens.... we did want her to sleep in her moses basket in our room tonight rather than us coming downstairs but turns out she had other ideas xx

@Elizabeth this is so painful! Such hard work!!!! Xx

At least we aren’t going through this alone, I am the same and am exclusively breastfeeding. Last night I was in absolute tears saying I can’t do this and that I need to introduce a bottle BG is 10 days old and this has been going on for a week straight so I’ve just been exhausted but we have this!!xx

@Ashley you definitely have to go with the flow in the beginning which is hard if you like routine, there is nothing like the sleep deprivation in the beginning! My kids are 4 and 2 and we’re starting the day at 4.45 at the moment because my 2 year old just doesn’t need any more sleep 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Stacey I have a ewan the sheep.... maybe I should try that after her next feed and try put her down Ive been sat with her on the sofa, my eyes are very heavy but finding ways to distract me from falling asleep. X

@Ashley it’s the little nods for me where our eyes are so heavy that your head starts to go and we startle ourselves awake

Please don’t worry about it becoming a habit. “Enjoy” the cuddles which is easier said than done. You are not alone! My first didn’t sleep through until she was 13 months and even now we still get odd nights with multiple wakes due to teething or growing etc like tonight! At day 7, I remember I had a meltdown where I just ended up sobbing, shouting and telling my husband that he could breastfeed the baby because I was so tired. Just remember it’s not forever, one day she will sleep through! “It’s just a season” as everyone who seems to have it together says. 😁

@Ashley those first couple of weeks are hard until you find your routine. Make sure she's burped before lying flat the swaddle/sleep bags are helpful. But make sure you sleep in the day I was the same I felt I had time clean everything so often was awake in day and night too and wasn't easy on myself. But you can't live like it. So make sure you try to rest when baby does! You are doing fab! X

@Megan so glad I'm not alone xx

@Stacey I think I will have to, thank you so much x

We are all going through this right now ☹️ sleep torture, it does get better as the months go on and this will be a distant memory

I’m two weeks deep and feel the EXACT same! Reading everyone else’s comments make me feel so much better 🥹 I’ve stopped tracking wake times / nap times now and I’m just going with the flow, seems abit easier!

We as a species are meant to be held, as inconvenient it can be at times! So please don’t worry about making bad habits, the only thing your baby is learning how much you love them. Practically I would consider researching how to safely co-sleep and maybe even chest sleep (co-sleepy on insta has advice on this) if you need to. Please don’t spend another night almost falling asleep with baby on you on a sofa or chair, it’s so much more dangerous (and I’ve been there with out first when we didn’t know better!). I recommend the Owlet sock for bed/chest sleeping peace of mind albeit it’s not cheap. Nothing is risk free but some methods are definitely safer than others. Here are some links for safety and advice: https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/safer-sleep-information/co-sleeping/ https://www.instagram.com/cosleepy?igsh=Ymg5OWdoaG1mdGN4 https://possumssleepprogram.com/find-essentials (my personal sleep bible! Tips for setting circadian rhythm etc. and it’s all science backed)

Oh and you’re doing great I promise, it’s tough! ♥️

@Stacey I’m going to try this because he sleeps absolutely fine downstairs in Moses basket but next to me no chance!! I’ve just woken up to him in the cuddle curl with me in my bed so I must’ve crashed at some point. I’m so disappointed! I co slept with my daughter for 2 years (safely) but never wanted to do it again. I’m going to have to try basket upstairs x

@Niamh-Grace try it see if it works.it worked for us. Oh bless you don't be hard on yourself we can only do what we can do. If it makes you feel better my toddler decided to wake 4.30- 6(well 6 was the last time I saw the clock) this morning and I fell asleep on sofa before her and just woke up with her cuddled next to me. So.moved her back to bed 😆 x

My little boy had a couple of days like this around days 3-5 (we’re now on day 9 - where has that time gone?!?). I think it was where my milk was coming in, but I had to chest sleep for a few nights just so I actually had a bit of rest. Would definitely recommend looking into safe cosleeping so you’re set up if need be. I have a toddler too so not easy to get sleep during the day. It’s no guarantee, but my little boy has been having stints in the next to me at night for the last few nights. It’s tough, but all they’ve known is you, and being nice warm and cosy inside you for the last 9 months! The fourth trimester is tough, but it will go so fast ❤️

Completely normal and don’t feel guilty, sleep deprivation is awful, my advice is to get sleep whenever you can so those 3 hr day naps are best sleep time. It’ll take some time but your LO should work out day and night and then start to sleep a little more at night.

6 days pp here just came to say I feel your pain. I am crying at least 5 times a day. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I just came into Peanut now to ask if anyone else is struggling so know you’re not alone!!!xx

Are you using a swaddle or sleep bag ?? I found the tommee tippie grobags are great they love to feel all enclosed and snuggled up so maybe try swaddling with a white noise and red light to imitate the womb. And I know it's the worst advice anyone can give but take advantage of them sleeping in the day and sleep with them. Daytime naps are a godsend during the newborn trenches and maybe stock up on coffee xx

@Madeleine I have bought an owlet recently but haven't opened the box.... was unsure whether to send back in case it increased the anxiety I already have.... or to use it later in the journey. I don't want to co sleep, that's a no go for me and my partner x

@Kathryn I'm amazed at how many people are feeling the same. I was not set up for this or educated... im nearly 40, but babies have never really featured in my life and I have been clueless . More education is needed I feel.... x

@Jess I've got a ewan the sheep and a couple of the swaddle up bags so am trying those out. Xx