Advice

I’ve been feeling so alone in my pregnancy. This is my first baby and I only have 11 weeks left. Me and the dad have been together for less than a year, everything happened to fast and now I’m starting to feel the weight of it all. He does everything for me, he’s the one who mainly works but lately I’ve been catching him microcheat. I’ve been cheated on before in past relationships and even abused so it’s been so worrisome. When I addressed it to him we got into a little argument over text but he ended it with saying he’s sorry but I believe he only said that because he doesn’t want me and the baby to be away from him but I’m not sure. I want to leave but the only place is my mothers house but me and her have had such a rough relationship and ever since I’ve been pregnant she’s been supportive but it seems so fake because she wasn’t like this towards me before. She’s said and done the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me and she just acts like nothings happened. She chooses her toxic bf before her children. I just know I won’t feel comfortable with her around my baby. The only person I have is my sister and she just had a baby, I know I can talk to her but I don’t want to put any more stress onto her but when I did reach out for advice she said I have to just choose what I feel is best for me and my child. I basically have to just decide to choose the evil I know or choose the unknown evil. I know my mom but with my bf I know him too but with everything’s that’s been happening I feel like I actually don’t.

Show your support

My situation was very similar. Me and my mom fought horribly when I was postpartum and i absolutely hated it. Me and my BD never fought like that even though we didn’t stay together. I couldn’t have lived with my mother. I think as long as he doesn’t seem abusive-evil I’d stay where I’m more comfortable. Maybe just somewhat check out romantically.

I can relate to your situation—every bit of it 😞. I won’t tell you what to do; but for me, if I were to go back in time I would choose a third option: me. Everyone will tell you to stay for the sake of the baby, but what good is it to the baby if the mom isn’t happy or feels alone? I actually hated being pregnant as a result and my partner had me so stressed that I had to be induced early. My health was declining and it was becoming a risk to myself and my child. So if I could go back in time, I would stick to my guns, ignore everyone else, and live only for me and mine. As for my partner I would’ve put him on child support to cover rent and things; and he can love me (and baby)from a distance because we needed to get to know each other better and learn each other more. Afterwards, if he was meant to be then we could re-couple. I can tell you that for me, he was not meant to be. His behavior never changed. Finally ended it after 2 years. Wish I’d done it early on.

One last thing, I had friends and family tell me “oh but he’s so nice” and “oh but he really loves you and really wants to be a family” —and to that I tell them, Listen, I am not an ogre. He is not the first, and he sure as hell won’t be the last person, to ever love me—or ever be “nice” to me. And me and my baby, are already a family, and that gives me a lot of joy. This time that I’ve gotten to have her all to myself has been amazing 😻. And I love the family traditions we are building together; cuddle time on the couch, star nights at the beach , airplane watching on a Sunday. It’s truly surpassed any expectation I ever had of what a family was or could look like and it’s been wonderful . 💛

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌