Put a net in the crib. She won’t be able to lick it. They sell crib nets on Amazon. We have one because my 2 year old is a master at hopping it!
Silverware… maybe had her some bamboo utensils. So it doesn’t hurt lol
For tantrums, we noticed my daughter doesn’t throw them after we up’s her vitamins. Try Ella olla, we use them and put it in her milk. We also use iron supplements that’s liquid. She is super picky and we have noticed a huge difference in her behavior.
Maybe it's almost time for a big girl bed. A lot of times, that creates more issues than it solves, but in your case, maybe not. Maybe also get a new set of big girl spoons and say she can't have them if she's going to throw. When she throws, put them away for a day or two and before they come out again ask if she's going to throw them again. Let her tell you no, but also have her repeat "Mommy, I won't throw my spoon." It's not full proof, but having my son say it out loud helps him not immediately repeat undesirable behaviors.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I have stubborn twin boys who also have a 3rd birthday in November. They sometimes throw silverware on the ground. I warn them and it’s gone. I’m kind of confused about the crib licking. It’s undesirable, but is it endangering her? It sounds like something you would prompt her not to do then stop. It sounds like something she will phase out of. There are a few behaviors I cannot break my boys of. It’s very frustrating! Hang in there Mama!