(Mommas boy) the love is gone

Every time I argue with my husband, he calls his mom and sister and tells them lies—right in front of me. He bad-mouths me to them, and I can’t trust him . When things are good between us, he’ll tell them that I was just angry, but then he praises me, calling me a great mom, even though he’s called me a bad mum to them. To be honest, he’s just not a nice person. Our baby is only 5 months old, but I’m already thinking that I want out of this relationship. I feel so unhappy. I used to be someone who posted on TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram, but since being with him, I’ve withdrawn into myself. I don’t go out anymore. He works from home, so I see him every single day, and it’s exhausting. I feel like I’m falling out of love with him more and more each day because of his personality. These are traits that can’t be easily changed. Recently, I’ve distanced myself. He’s in the other room, and we only talk when it’s about the baby. I don’t cook for him anymore. The problem is, when things are good, I forget about all the horrible things he’s done and the person he is.But as soon as we have sex, all those bad feelings resurface, and I just shut down. I feel like I don’t want him to touch me, because it reminds me of how he treated me. Our sex life is practically nonexistent. I blame myself because I ignored all the red flags before we had a child together. I feel ashamed of myself for staying with him. I’ve been struggling with self-harm thoughts, and I can’t help but think ill of him. I’ve never been this way before.I don’t wish bad on my worst enemy but boy this relationship is changing my heart.