If your child didn’t go to nursery/kindergarten, did they still start talking at the same time as their peers?
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My son is 22 months old and doesn’t talk. He will literally say go away and hiya and that’s it. Babies do things in their own time. Usually health visitors expect them to start saying sentences aka 2 words together like I’m ok etc, by 2 years and 4 months old. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Oh also I never set out to teach her anything with a curriculum, just interacted with me all day every day. She knows all the shapes, colours, animals, vehicles, etc you name it, do simple maths now (could count to 10 at 18 months old). There’s something to be said for 1 to 1 attention as well, which they’re never going to get at nursery.
My 20 month old nephew went nursery before 12 months and still didnt speak, and my husband was childminder and spoke even later. No one in our vicinity said nursery had anything to do with it Do you talk to him a lot?
My 20 month old started nursery at 11 months and has only started saying words in the last couple of weeks, nothing to do with nursery! I’d be insulted at the insinuation that I don’t talk to my child if someone said that to me!
I think if they don’t go to nursery it also depends: do they have siblings/ cousins they see often or are they alone?
My daughter will be 3yrs old end of June. She's been going to daycare since she was 15months full time...5days! And let me tell you She's only just starting to put a few words together. I realised me making effort to talk to her often saying a few sentences out loud without Tv on this has helped alot and reading to her. Don't let anyone make you believe she's not talking because of that.
My daughter has never been to nursery (2 next month) and we’re getting 4-5 word sentences. It varies massively from child to child :) nursery may help those who are talking a little later as they’re constantly exposed to other kids doing it and may start copying but they’ll still do it in their own time regardless of environment.
Yes I cannot lie every time someone says it I can’t help but feel a certain type of way but he is my first child and I’m not around family and stuff so I cannot really say definitively it’s the cause or is not the cause. The thing is I know he understands me because he will do all the actions to songs, he loves heads, shoulders, knees and toes, he does incy wincy spider, wind the bobbin up etc. and on row row row the boat he will scream at the end like he is meant to. We will sit down and point to his number poster on the door and count to 10, but he gets fixated with pointing the numbers than actually trying to say them. He recognises what animals should make what sound but won’t make the sounds. He has an alphabet flash card set and he recognises “S” only because he will put emphasis on the hiss at the end and that he will do himself. He has a favourite hey duggee book with the ladybug and you have to count the spots (has a thing for numbers).
He will go over the counting part again and again! He doesn’t go to nursery however he does fill his week up with playgroups, baby gymnastics and swimming (the weekend is the only thing we have no plans for so I take him to the park). I have noticed even at playgroups, the kids don’t interact with one another, they are all doing their own thing and most are too busy playing to speak, the only speaking you get is when your child takes their toy then suddenly they will shout at them.. I’m confused how my son is going to pick language up this way but 🤷🏽♀️ I still take him. I feel my son’s personality is the main reason he doesn’t speak, he is VERY stubborn and if he doesn’t want to do something he simply won’t do it! He doesn’t say “no” but shakes his head to everything! He gets bored easily so when he has had enough of number, alphabet, play, books etc. he will just get up and walk off! I will pause to get him to fill in gaps and he will close his mouth tight!
Could that have helped? Maybe. My daughter is VERY advanced verbally but she didn't walk until almost 18 months and still isn't as confidently active as her slightly younger cousin who practically plays tball. Every baby is different.
My now 7 year old (ASD and ADHD) went to nursery from age 2, still did not talk until he was 3.5
Nothing to do with nursery. My son hasn’t ever been and he’s very advanced with your communication. Follow your gut and ignore the very uneducated people that put ‘not being in nursery’ as the reason for everything. I’m also an early years teacher and meet many children who haven’t been to nursery and they are never any further behind than the children that have.
@Anna👼👶👼👼 could what have helped? My son learned to walk around his first birthday and does a lot of climbing, navigating how to get from a to b in many different ways however walking at 1 isn’t considered an early walker especially enough to offset his other skills for almost a year. @Sita you see that’s the other thing, if it’s not the lack of nursery and communication with others/yourself then the child must be autistic that’s causing the delays. Iv had to reiterate to my health visitor that I don’t think he is autistic, just has a speech delay
As soon as my little boy hit 2, he started speaking in sentences. He doesn't start pre-school until September.
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@Shay I'm not a doctor. Some people just think having kids around others help develop skills🤷♀️ could being around other little kids have encouraged my daughter to walk sooner? Maybe. I can't know for sure. Could being around other children and observing them ask for things or seeing a teacher use sign language help with communication? Maybe, maybe not. My point was just that you never know and you didn't do anything wrong by not sending your baby. It isn't your fault. 💕
I personally wouldn't worry, especially from your additional comments - he sounds like he's generally thriving. The only way I think nursery could help (although I don't think it's a primary factor) is that he would have to try harder to communicate his needs because when he's with you, you understand him without him needing to speak. At nursery, they won't be able to in the same way. He may also feel more motivated to express himself in new ways to connect with other kids. While they do mostly parallel play at this age, they are also communicating with each other. Every child is different. Mine doesn't go to nursery (he's 2.5) and I would say he's very good when it comes to speaking.
@Amy my gut tells me it’s not right that he isn’t speaking or confidently trying to repeat words from me or others. When I tell hi to say hi or bye he will wave but never actually say it. The understanding it there but something is stopping him! I keep getting told, he will talk when he is ready but what’s more frustrating to me is the fact that I spoke to my health visitor about this when he was 18 months and she said if by 22 months he hasn’t progressed I can ask for a sooner appt from the 2yr review and they can start the process of the speech therapist but their not concerned until he is 2 and they have a long waiting list. Last month I spoke to her, said he hasn’t progressed a bit since we last spoke so could we get the ball rolling a month earlier and she turned around and told me that they now are not concerned until he is 3! I feel like they keep talking about early intervention while keep telling me not to be concerned because they are not concerned! Just bring up nursery!
My daughter is very advanced word wise for her age she’s 20 months. She’s never been to nursery. My friends kid doesn’t talk much at all and he doesn’t go to nursery or any of the sorts and they are the same age. Every kid learns on their own time and neither form prove anything or mean anything. You are doing great! My niece and nephew also both learned speaking and every milestone in their own time as well.
It should be till 2 it becomes a concern honestly. But if you feel the need to do early intervention because you are the mama and gut instincts are gut instincts then I would keep pushing or change your pediatrician to someone who will listen to you. But again every child is different! He may just need a little help like speech therapy and that’s okay! I hope the best
I’ve met kids that talk more and less, daycare or no. There’s a huge jump between 2 and 3 so don’t stress much, just put in the work. My daughter said 10-15 words at 2, now she’s 2 1/2 and says like 200+. YES ITS THAT BIG OF A JUMP! She says 2-4 word sentences, knows all the colors, shapes, numbers 1-10, numbers 1-10 backwards, body parts, names of clothing, I can go on and on…she’s never been to daycare. Idk how it is in GB but in US you can get them in speech services at 2. We did that because in the US they wanted them saying 50 words by 2 (which in my opinion is too much). The main focus before 2 was eating. I personally think the daycare comment is a way for them to cope with their child having to be in daycare. Like convincing themselves there’s a positive lol there’s plenty of kids in daycare not talking. Daycare also comes with tons of behavioral problems. Keep her home. Practice with her. Be consistent. You’ll see a difference.
It sounds like he likely needs speech services. My nanny kiddo didn’t speak until he was well over 2. Having a speech therapist made all the difference. He made leaps and bounds almost immediately with speech therapy.
No both girls have been early talkers but I was also a teacher with specialisation in infants and toddlers so being home with me would be better than any nursery 😂
@🩷 Patience 🩷 I have only ever heard that 2 is when they get concerned and I have heard that more than once up until now so to get almost to 2, to be told, nah it’s 3 now makes me feel like I’m going crazy! We don’t have paediatricians here, just health visitors and family doctors. I haven’t spoken to the dr about it as they will tell me to go to the health visitor🤦🏽♀️. Speech therapy is what she said we would apply for at 22 months but here we are at 22 months being told wait until 3! I really do hope he has a big leap between 2 and 3 because they said there is a big jump between 18 and 24 months and his speech hasn’t changed a bit in this time, he just gesticulates more now. They also said 50 words by 18 months here😐 @SquishyMommy1 that’s what he was meant to be getting referred to at 22 months but now I’m being told there is no concern until 3! If I pay private they’re asking £180 per session which is crazy but I’ll find it if I have to.
My daughter started school preverbal however went to preschool and nursery. My son went to nursery and also had speech delay. The health visitor will ask if your child goes to an educational setting. They also worked on my child’s speech targets and made the referral.
@Shay 50 words by 18 months is a lot that’s technically advanced for an 18 month old told at least by my pediatrician. 🫠 I’m so sorry you are going through this
@Agata just out of curiosity, are you teaching your daughter two languages or just one? ☺️
I haven’t reached that milestone yet but two of my friends with babies similar in age, 1 who went nursery from 9-12 months and the other not until 2 years old - there’s a HUGE difference in their communication skills! I can’t say nursery is the reason for that, but there was definitely a difference xx
My 2yr old has never been to a nursery. She speaks in 5 word sentences. She is reserved especially around other children and at the park and we get"it's because she stays home with you" (except we go out every day!). Kids are so different from one another. He might be delayed in language and need speech therapy. If it were my child I'd ask for a referral just to get the help going. BUT please know it is common for many kids not to say much until 2.5. I'd let my dr know that I want then to make note that I asked for speech therapy at 18mths and again recently. Then I'd switch Dr's. It took me 3 pediatricians to find one that I felt hard my concerns instead of dismissed them.
It has nothing to do with daycare. My son spoke early and never went to daycare a day in his life
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@C I have asked for him to be referred for speech therapy which is what I was told can start at 22 months but now I’m being told their not concerned until he is 3.. which sounds like they are not going to bother try until around then!
@Annie did you have to do anything specifically for him to speak early or he just picked it up with ease and copied you?
@Karen so your daughter didn’t talk until past 4/5 years old? My HV did ask if he went to any educational settings, I told her at that time I was taking him to the two playgroups a week she listed and she mentioned taking him swimming and recommended a particular spa so I signed us all up and take him there twice a week! I told her I was going to put him in baby gymnastics which he has been in for 4 months now, he had 2 free days in the week with nothing scheduled so I found another playgroup that runs on them days and I take him there. Iv done everything she suggested and she still said, “well are you planning to put him in nursery when he turns 2? Because that will be where all the difference will be made!” So it’s like even though she told me to do all these things, I done all those things, she now says the real difference will be made when I enrol him in nursery! It just feels like I’m fighting a loosing battle unless I enrol him in nursery!
@Shay when she started school she got an ehcp and then had weekly speech therapy. She did speak but no one could understand her. Her bf was called “EE” and milk was “balk”. Don’t think covid helped as she didn’t see SALT until she started reception. With her I think it’s more the muscles in her mouth were underdeveloped. Has he had his hearing checked? They don’t tend to worry about it until the age of 3 anyway and your son is still quite young.
@Karen what’s ehcp? And that all makes sense, I have known of a few kids growing up that was like that but we just had to struggle to understand them as they wasn’t getting therapy haha. His hearing hasn’t been checked however he hears perfectly fine. I can whisper a song to him and he will start doing the actions or I can call him from another room and he will come. Literally everything else with him is fine and as expected, he just refuses to speak or repeat or even attempt to repeat.
@Shay it’s an education health care plan. She needed it as the nhs could only offer her 8 sessions and she needed weekly and to help access the curriculum. She’s fine now. It’s fairly standard to check hearing before speech therapy just incase it’s something like glue ear. Both my kids have good hearing. There used to be drop in speech therapists at the children’s centres. Not sure if they still do it. Also our local speech therapy website shows ideas on how to help. I was also encouraged to do makaton which might be worth asking your hv about.
Sorry I didn’t see these comment until just now, @Rachel im hoping my son does the same and at least starts trying soon! @Anna👼👶👼👼 yeah I understand where your coming from, I have heard though that the child themselves have to have the motivation to do it for themselves. So if they prioritise talking before walking then they pick that up first or the other way round. My son only had one thing he ever cared about and that was independence which is why I think he picked up walking so quickly. He went from a few wobbly steps to walking normally in like 2 weeks, once he figured out he could do it, he never stopped. I just thought once he fully learned that, he would move onto the next but talking is never the next. Kids make him laugh, otherwise he is in his own world either playing with the toys there or trying to take other kids toys (he is that kid) but otherwise he doesn’t even pay them attention as they don’t pay him attention.
My daughter is almost 14 months can say many words. She does not go nursery. Me and her dad just spend time with her showing and telling her the names of things and she just picks up words fast. A child does not need to go to nursery she only needs her Mother for the first 3 years.
My son is 24 months he was born 4 months early so he is suppose to be 20 months. He talks so much, know animals & sounds, his colours, people like uncle nani nana mummy dada etc etc. he knows food items and asked for something he wants to eat or drink and has never been to nursery. I spend alot of my time talking with him and repeating myself and he watches alot of Ms Rachel which is where I think most of his speech came from. The doctors always said he would be behind because of how premature he is but he is as bright as can be. I think development is different for every child however. I have met kids his age who don’t speak at all yet.
Have you told the HV, they could assess him and see if he’s on track or needs support.
@Shay we talk a lot so I think that helps. Read every night, talk through activities, sing lots of songs.
Our speech and language therapy team don't accept referrals until 30 months. Being around other children can help, but that could be attending play groups or being around family members. There's some great ideas for things you can do with your child to support communication here - https://surreychildandfamily.co.uk/advice-sheet/
Have you tried doing any baby signing? I had a friend who had a speech and language referral and they recommended trying a few simple signs(you can make them up!) to encourage communication. Also they are looking at understanding as much as what they are actually saying, so can they follow simple instructions that sort of thing which it sounds like yours is doing really well. Mine talks loads but has been behind in pretty much everything else 😂 didn't walk until 20 months, never crawled. So I know what it's like to second guess whether something is your "fault". I'd be willing to bet it's not. Your son is just focusing on other things at the moment! And I don't think nursery would make a huge difference when you already seem to do a lot of activities with other kids. Honestly I wouldn't worry if I were you, keep an eye on it, the support is there if needed.
@Aggs two, Polish is my native language but she prefers English. When my husband is home we talk English, and everyone else around us (playgroups, swimming, friends etc talk English), so it’s just me and my family. She understands Polish but doesn’t use it a lot. Will say an odd word here and there. Speaks amazingly in English in full sentences, like you can have full conversations with her as if she was 5, but is only a month shy of 3 yo. Never ever been in nursery, will go to preschool from September as I feel she’s ready now. She tries to make friends at the playground, but she was never interested in other children until now.
@Agata thank you for the response, that’s amazing! You must be so proud. My daughter is learning Polish and English too, in the same way you described. I’ve been told repeatedly that she will have speech delays solely because of this so it’s reassuring to know that’s not always the case.
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@Aggs no worries ! ☺️ Thank you for your kind words. Yes I heard that too, I think it can be normal but again they are all so different, it doesn’t have to be. I also think the benefit of two languages eventually is worth it. Are you Polish or is your partner?
@Agata I’m Polish :) and it’s so true regarding the benefits of bilingualism. I always have to remind myself of this as I tend to naturally gravitate towards English. There are days when my partner speaks more Polish to our daughter than I do, and he only knows a handful of words 🥲
I’m glad to see many have first hand experience with nursery not making a difference with their child’s language development. Before the Easter break he was around kids 24/7 as I tried to make sure he isn’t lacking too much as people have made me feel guilty for not putting him into nursery but it really hasn’t made the slightest difference as the kids don’t interact with each other anyway. I have found it’s mostly the adults interaction that has him more engaged and trying to communicate with them. I just find it so strange that he doesn’t even attempt to try and copy anything verbally. He is so fixated on copying gesticulation but is completely silent otherwise! I have been doing some signs with him, which he is picking up, but won’t use them to communicate with me, will just copy them. I guess only time will tell as I’m not getting much external help. After the Easter break I’m switching one of his playgroups to one with a speech therapist so 🤞🏽
My 3 yo has never been to nursery and has always exceeded all the milestones for her age and you could have full conversations with her by 2 yo. Everyone always comments how advanced she is. In comparison our friend’s child same age is only now starting to say simple sentences and has been in nursery since 9 months old. Don’t let anyone make you believe it’s because he’s not at nursery. All children are different.