Talking and stimming

I don't know what "stims" is but my son was delayed in speech and didn't talk well till he was about 3. He's turning 4 next month and will be getting speech therapy when he starts school on the fall. He doesn't say some of his letters correctly. We've worked with him a lot and have come a long way but he still has a significant amount to qualify for therapy. I think boys talk a lot later compared to girls so it doesn't mean he needs help but it couldn't hurt to get him tested. I did the speech therapy but I won't get him diagnosed with autism. I think it's over diagnosed these days. My opinion. My son may be slightly on the " spectrum' but not enough to be treated differently. I'm sure I'll get a lot of hate for this but it's my child not yours, to anyone who takes offense to this. ❤️ Just sharing my experience.

@Kalina this is 100% what my husband thinks!! He says there isnt any reason to get him diagnosed because is he was he would be very high functioning but we do want to look into speech therapy this made me feel 100% better!

My son is 2.8yo and just slowly started saying a few words, we are under peads and speech therapist. He’s definitely on the spectrum, he showed the signs since he was 6m old, it started with turning his head left to right really fast while looking up, then hands flapping, voice stimming, tip toeing. The nursery has put him as 1-2-1, he always has a teacher with him, he’s not interested in playing with other babies, joining activities. Just wants to sit with teacher and cuddle. During the parents evening on Wednesday, teacher said there was only 1 occasion where Theo went and played on his own for 5-10min and then went back to cuddling teacher with his comforters. It’s very difficult for them to handle him when he has meltdowns but they’re learning and not giving up on him like the rest of nurseries did

@Kalina I sent you a message!

As someone who used to work with children for a long time I do want to just mention, yes, it's your choice to get your child diagnosed or not, but even if a child is very high functioning, there's good reasons to get them diagnosed: they can get extra support in school (if needed), even if it's just be able to go somewhere quiet when overstimulated. It will help their teachers understand them better, because neurotypical and neurodivergent brains work differently and interpret the world differently. As they get older, having a label can also help them understand themselves better. Additionally, the reason it seems to be overdiagnosed now is because it has previously always been underdiagnosed, and used to even be taboo to talk about. Diagnostic criteria has changed to be more inclusive because when criteria was first created, it was only done so based on the symptoms from a small, non-diverse percentage of people (boys) with autism, similar to how "classic" heart attack symptoms aren't actually universal.

@Judy are you going to get him evaluated or just try to work with him?

@Kai My husband never had a diagnosis growing up and he was able to get help in school. He thinks that he might have adhd but never got told that but he was able to get help so just saying you dont always have to put a label on it. Ive often wondered if my sons might be adhd

As someone on the spectrum, I second getting your kiddo a diagnosis of they are on the spectrum. I didn't find out I was autistic till I was an adult, and I was just labeled a trouble maker, bossy, a know it all and a general pain in the ass, and always getting "not living up to potential" on my report cards since I was plenty smart but I didn't get the accommodations I needed to help me succeed in the ways they measured. But had I been able to have quiet rooms to take my tests in, have quiet fidgets, and things like getting copies of notes because audio processing made note taking impossible, I would have been a straight A student. But instead I got all sorts of other kinds of labels that greatly affected my self image and took years to sort out as an adult after I figured out I was on the spectrum. I really wish that I had my diagnosis and a proper IEP from when I was a kid. I would have been far more successful in school, but instead I fell through the cracks. Just something to keep in mind

It's possible to still get help without a diagnosis in school, but you potentially don't get all the types of help or accommodations needed. My husband has an adult diagnosis and the world and himself suddenly makes sense to him. He grew up masking without knowing it, getting overstimulated, having meltdowns, and got treated and told he was lazy, stupid, acting out, etc, so he believed it and was so hard on himself. Even though we suspected for years he was scared to get the diagnosis because he thought "what if I'm not and I really am all those terrible things." Now that he has it he feels a lot better, and is also able to get needed accommodations at work and other places. I myself we suspect either have ADHD (also highly underdiagnosed in girls) or autism, or both, and I went undiagnosed all through school. I got some accommodations in college that I needed through other methods, but not anything before that.

And yes, while a label isn't always needed, it helps the person dealing with something understand themselves and feel not alone. Same reason there's so many labels for gender and sexuality, it's so people don't feel alone, to help people understand themselves, a whole host of reasons. Also why theres labels for different psychiatric disorders. Not everyone likes having a label, but labels can help clear obstacles in people's paths, and help them feel not alone.

I've also worked directly with kids in different settings (daycare, school, extra curriculars) that were clearly on the spectrum but undiagnosed, and were were truly UNABLE to give them the help and accommodations needed because they did not have the diagnosis, and the people above us had implemented essentially "no diagnosis, no help" for several reasons (staffing shortages, resource shortages, facility shortages, money, etc)

My son started speech therapy at 19m. He's a little over 3.5 years old and last week he started speaking in several full sentences in a row. Definitely check out the speech therapist if you're worried. It's so much fun!!!