Marriage decisions

Yes, definitely. It is a decision that both of you should be making. It is up to the man if/when he wants a child, just as much as it is the woman.

i think it’s good to talk about and if you both want a second child then a plan should be discussed, BUT i am a second child conceived at a birthday party and my mom forgot to take her bc then pop i was born,, wasn’t planned but they both wanted a second child,, if you guys are having a hard time rn in your marriage idk if i personally would want a second child

A husband should always have a say in family planning. It takes the two of you to make a child.

Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m reading the question as if the husband if trying to force the wife to stop taking birth control and have another baby. If so, no he shouldn’t. Women’s body, her choice. But if he doesn’t want to have another child and wife does, he needs to wear condoms or get a vasectomy until both agree on having another child.

Having a kid needs to be a decision that both people agree on

You need two "yes"es to begin ttc. If he is a yes and you are a no, his opinion is moot. If you are a yes and he is a no, then you need to reconsider moving forward with the relationship at all, especially if he is unsupportive of the child(ren) you already have.

Absolutely, it’s his child too. However, If you both can’t come to a common ground I don’t think you guys should plan on having a child.

Thank you everyone for your responses! I currently don’t want another child for a while, but my husband wants us to start trying for a second one within the next six months. We already have a three-month-old, and I feel like I won’t be ready in the next six months

As somebody who technically tried to conceive at 3 months PPD & didn’t get pregnant until 13 months PP, the longer the wait, it’s worth it. I don’t regret my kids & they were both planned, but the 21 month age gap was so difficult for the first year. I think y’all should come to an agreement. Yes, he should have a say, but you’re carrying the baby & your say outweighs his.

If he’s not supportive and there’s a lot of disagreement, why would either one of you want a child right now? Sounds stupid

Respectfully, your husband should not have a say. Especially when considering the fact that you’re only three months postpartum. You literally just had a baby. As a mom who became pregnant at six months postpartum. It was incredibly difficult for me to recover while having an infant and a newborn. I although I think it’s important for this to be openly discussed amongst partners and a mutual agreement to be concluded. It’s ultimately your decision on when and if you pursue another child. Father maybe, mother for sure. It’s easy for a man to say he wants to have another baby when his only contribution is the fun part. You have to put yourself first.

If you’re asking like to trap them then that’s wrong and yes they should be involved in the decision but if you are saying they are deciding when you as the women should get off BC then no. Both parties should be ready and it should be a mutual decision to try for another. No party should be “forced” or ignored in this big of an event

@Jorgie-Anne It’s so easy for them; their lives barely change. My entire life has changed so much since I had a baby; nothing is the same anymore. I appreciate your response. I find it unbelievable that he should have any say in when I should conceive again. I feel like that decision is mine to make, considering that I raise the child for about 80% of the time.

Yes, both parties must be involved and on the same page.

It’s a conversation you both need to have. But I’ve had this conversation with my husband as well and I told him I would love another but my mental health can’t handle another baby. And he agreed to wait.

I wish I could give you a big hug, because I understand completely. One thing most men will never understand is that nothing will ever be the same again. It’s incredibly insensitive for him to ask you to consider conceiving so soon; It’s selfish. Although it’s important for him to express his desires and share his feelings; The decision must ultimately be yours. This decision will be even more critical if you don’t have outside support. There will always be an unequal division of labor and mental distress when one person becomes the default parent and it’s usually Mommy. When I conceived my son at six months pp, it was a happy surprise. But I was vastly unprepared to have an infant and newborn at the same time. Without any mental, physical, or emotional support; I had PPD. Be brutally honest about how you feel, even if it’s raw. You made the ultimate sacrifice, and if he’s not moved by your plight; Then you have your answer. Feel free to pm if you want to vent or chat more.

@Siera I highly recommend you treat other people the way you want to be treated. Reading comprehension is imperative and context matters. The OP does not wish to have another child right now and is seeking advice because her HUSBAND is pressuring her about his desire to conceive soon. The lack of support and inability to come to agreement is why she is questioning why his input should hold so much weight. I really wish you would give her some grace before contributing such a thoughtless reply. The only thing you’ve done is come across as a callous C you next Tuesday.

@Siera Thank you for your response, but honestly, you come across very rude. It seems like you may have some personal issues that you need to work on .